A wizard's strength is his ability to prepare different spells each day, but it is also our weakness.[1]

Vaarsuvius is an androgynous high elf and a member of the Order of the Stick. After studying for nearly a century, Vaarsuvius decided to become an adventurer to expand their knowledge. Vaarsuvius is sometimes referred to as just "V", and has a friendship with Haley Starshine. Vaarsuvius has had a contentious relationship with Belkar Bitterleaf. He/she has been openly acknowledged as the most powerful member of the Order of the Stick.

In game terms Vaarsuvius is an Evoker, a Wizard specialized in the Evocation school. V's barred schools are Conjuration^[3] and Necromancy.^[4] V's familiar is a raven, which she/he never got around to naming, but Haley Starshine named Blackwing. Vaarsuvius constantly forgot that Blackwing existed, until around the time of Comic 674.^[5]

Biography

Pre-Order

On the Origin of PCs

Vaarsuvius, was born to ranger parents in the Great Elven Forest.^[6] When V was a child, her/his parents took them camping at the site of a now-abandoned elven settlement that he/she utterly loathed. V was introduced to magic at an early age by Master Aarindarius, a close family friend who later took Vaarsuvius on as an apprentice, a position that V filled for sixty years.

V was married and has two 26 year old adopted twins with his/her mate Inkyrius. She/he lives in the village of Ivyleaf. Inkyrius (nicknamed Kyrie) is also an elf and is an apprentice baker.

Eventually Aarindarius became concerned that, while V excelled at the academic aspects of magic, the apprentice had become too isolated from the real world and thus Vaarsuvius was sent out into the world to learn more (via a Bixby's Evicting Hand spell).

Vaarsuvius decided that the best way to make a name for him/herself as a wizard was to challenge one of the Iron Mages, a group who specialized in the artistic side of magic. One of the Mages would accept the challenge and then Mage and challenger would be given an hour to research one or more spells using a given material as a component. Whoever was judged to have created the most effective and artistically pleasing set of spells would be deemed the winner.

Vaarsuvius issued a challenge, with the aim of outdoing their opponent and thus gaining access to the vast libraries of the Iron Mages. The challenge began, but Vaarsuvius, temporarily distracted by the Master of Ceremonies asking a question, replied in their usual long-winded manner, leaving V with very little time to actually complete the task. Vaarsuvius watched in annoyance as the Iron Mage revealed a sizeable collection of inscribed spells, potions and a magic item, a considerable lead over the two spells that she/he had inscribed in the time. Proceeding to the testing stage, V shockingly realized a serious error in scribing one of their spells, transposing range and area of effect. The resultant blast leveled the stadium. Unsurprisingly, Vaarsuvius was disqualified.

Apparently attempting to drown their sorrows, Vaarsuvius visited a local tavern where V encountered the rogue Haley Starshine. Discussing the relative merits of research against adventuring, Haley persuaded V to visit the local adventurer's tavern to see what opportunities might be available. While still uncertain, V agreed.

At the tavern, Vaarsuvius encountered the fighter Roy Greenhilt, who was recruiting a team to locate and destroy the lich Xykon. Haley had already signed up and recommended Vaarsuvius to Roy as a possible recruit. Irritated by Roy questioning their abilities, V magically shattered the table that Roy was sitting at with a Fireball. Roy then asked V to join the group, but the wizard initially declined, claiming that Roy was clearly only inviting V to sign up because he was intimidated by V's mental prowess and needed the opportunity to reestablish his dominance. Roy proceeded to describe in highly technical detail the nature of a Fireball spell and the specific need for someone who could cast it—as Vaarsuvius just had. Initially shocked and then pleased at this unexpected display of intellect from a fighter, Vaarsuvius agreed to join the party.

Vaarsuvius' marital status came as a complete shock to their teammates Belkar Bitterleaf and Durkon Thundershield, although Haley appeared to already be aware of this.

The Order of the Stick

Dungeon Crawlin' Fools

Vaarsuvius is the strongest member of the order, capable of fighting many foes at once. V originally joined the order just to find the secret to arcane power, but he/she has made friends with everyone on the team besides Belkar. Thus, V now willingly follows the Order wherever he/she go.

Throughout the adventures of the Order to date, Vaarsuvius has generally proven themself to be a highly effective member of the party, using their considerable magical abilities to great effect. V has, on occasion, found themself to be vulnerable in battle, something typical of mages. V took the ring of Wizardry from Xykon's finger as their prize after the battle.

No Cure for the Paladin Blues

After the Order escaped the bandits of the Wooden Forest, V was transformed into a lizard by a hag he/she encountered on their way. Eventually when everyone descended a pit he/she encountered a dragon. V was almost eaten by the dragon but Haley shot him in the eye. The dragon then swallowed Haley but V was able to cast Suggestion on the dragon.

Vaarsuvius was unable to have a huge impact in the first fight against Miko Miyazaki due to them being hit by a tanglefoot bag and unable to concentrate due to it and the storm. he/she were only able to cast Fireball (which hit Roy) and cast Hold Person, which made a successful opportunity of a flank from Haley and Roy.

Since then, V has traveled with the Order to Azure City, where V was given the run of the city's spell libraries, although, much to their frustration, the oddities of the rules prevented V from gaining as many additional spells as could be hoped.

War and XPs

Visiting the Oracle of Sunken Valley, Vaarsuvius posed the question "How will I achieve complete and total ultimate arcane power?" The Oracle replied "By saying the right four words to the right being at the right time for all the wrong reasons." This turns out to be a foreshadow to strip 634, where Vaarsuvius said the words "I... I must succeed" to him/herself, allowing the elf to harness three ultra-powerful evil spirits at once.^[7]

After a side adventure in Cliffport to rescue Roy's sister Julia from Elan's brother Nale, the Order returned to Azure City, with, unbeknownst to Vaarsuvius, Nale, now masquerading as Elan. Later that night after (unknowingly) helping out the fiend Sabine with her undirected rage at Nale, Vaarsuvius was forced to prevent Belkar (whom Nale had enchanted) from murdering Durkon. Visiting Haley to procure some decent restraints for Belkar, he/she discovered the Linear Guild attempting to overpower the now-returned Elan and Haley. Vaarsuvius was faced with the identical twins. V swiftly tricked Nale into revealing himself by simply insulting his many so-called master plans, then blasted him into unconsciousness.^[8]

When Azure City fell under attack by Xykon's hobgoblin army the next day, Vaarsuvius easily bested Redcloak's Titanium Elementals by using the Dismissal spell from scrolls V had on hand.^[9] Unable to return to their assigned position on the wall, V volunteered their services to help defend the breach in the wall caused by the elementals.^[10] Vaarsuvius orchestrated the initial defense of the breach by picking the thirteen best warriors available, using her/his magic to provide them all with multiple magical bonuses, then using an enlargement spell to expand the soldiers to a huge size, allowing them to wipe out multiple hobgoblins at a time.^[11] A Death Knight, however, managed to use the corpses as a bridge and blasted through the front-lines.^[12]

Vaarsuvius managed to disable and deprive the spell-resistant death knight of its mounted combat feats by disintegrating its skeletal mount.^[13] Despite this, the undead easily wiped away the warriors facing it with an abyssal blast (a death knight special ability), leaving Vaarsuvius standing alone against the brutal opponent.^[14] However, the death knight was soon after crushed by the head of Xykon's undead dragon after Roy chopped it off in mid-flight.^[15] Later on in the battle, Redcloak leads the entire army in a charge at the breach that frightens a large number of the soldiers into fleeing. Vaarsuvius states that he/she is out of spells save for Invisibility, which he/she casts on him/herself in order to escape, apologizing that he/she can do nothing more.^[16] V was later found by Elan hiding among the refugees of the city sneaking into Hinjo's junk. Although no longer having any spells, Vaarsuvius advises Elan on creating an illusion of a celestial lion to intimidate the enemy.^[17]

Don't Split the Party

During the four months period when the Order of the Stick was broken into separate groups, Vaarsuvius worked obsessively trying to find a way to scry on or communicate with Haley, blaming themself for stranding her in Azure City. All such attempts were thwarted by Xykon's Cloister spell. V claims that his/her spells were too weak to make a difference during the battle, and retreat could have been avoided had he/she had more powerful spells, stating that he/she wasted his/her time harassing Belkar rather than gaining more knowledge. V's final attempt, using three birds to convey a spoken message to Haley and Belkar, was thwarted when the latter shot and later roasted the birds on a spit.^[18][19]

Later, Vaarsuvius turned to stone a large demon summoned by Qarr^[20][21] and disintegrated Daimyo Kubota as Elan was leading him to his trial.^[22] V then left Elan and Durkon behind, believing them to hinder their search for Haley.

After several weeks on a desert island trying to research spells to help locate Haley, V met with the demon Qarr again, who had been spying on him/her. After being threatened by Vaarsuvius, he attempts to bargain with V to help them achieve ultimate arcane power, in exchange for not killing him. Vaarsuvius refuses, but before a blow can be struck, a dragon appears, claiming she is the mother of the dragon Vaarsuvius killed in the search for the Starmetal. She tells V that she will kill his/her family in retribution, then departs. V offers his/her soul to Qarr in exhange for the power to save her/his family, but ends up dealing with three archfiends who conveniently appear and offer V greater power than she/he could achieve on their own, by splicing three souls into her/his body. V agrees, with the words "I... I must succeed", fulfilling the Oracle's prediction that V would achieve unmatched arcane power by saying the right four words to the right people at the right time for all the wrong reasons (as the fiends suggested an alternate way to save V's family, but one that V was too proud to consider).

With the power of the Soul Splice V saves their family, while viciously killing the Dragon's entire bloodline in the process. However, this horrifies Inkyrius and the children, and after some arguing, Inkyrius asks V to remain and work through their problems, only for V to teleport away. This was later one of the factors leading to Inkyrius filing for divorce later in the story. Vaarsuvius then returned to the fleet planning to show off his/her newfound arcane power, only to be rebuffed by Daigo and Kazumi, who point out that Durkon and Elan left to meet Haley in Cliffport. V, incensed, left, but not before teleporting the fleet to what he/she viewed as the perfect location. V then met with Haley and rescued Roy's body, while gaining the respect of Belkar, due to the fact that V took on a much more evil appearance while under the effects of the soul splice.

After meeting with Durkon and Elan, V teleported them both back to where she/he had brought the fleet, only to be told it would take ten minutes to resurrect Roy. Unstable due to the soul-splice and his/her own insecurities, V proceeded to attempt to kill Xykon. Breaking through the cloister that surrounded the city, V appeared ready to fight, only to be casually beaten into the ground by the lich, who didn't even see V as a threat for most of the battle, and removed V's slender advantage with repeated uses of energy drain. Xykon then flattened V with a huge chunk of masonry, disrupting and ending the soul splice.

It was at this moment that O-Chul, Xykon's paladin prisoner and playtoy, broke out of his cage (killing a roach that attempted to warn the bad guys), destoryed Redcloak's eye and stole Xykon's phylactery, and (when the cleric used Word of Recall to get away) pounded on it with the bar he'd removed from his cage. While this couldn't dent the phylactery, he distracted Xykon, allowing Vaarsuvius to cast Invisibility on him/herself while O-Chul was getting pummeled by Xykon's spells.

Balked by a closed door, Vaarsuvius was about to climb out the hole she/he had blasted in the tower's side, but upon hearing Xykon's plans for the unconscious O-Chul, V returned and poured a healing potion (lifted from a dead hobgoblin) down the paladin's throat. Though he/she was then caught by Xykon (Liches get a racial +8 on Listen checks), O-Chul snatched both V and the phylactery from Xykon's grasp, and ran to the hole, which overlooked the Azure City Rift. As he pondered how to get the amulet to the Rift, Vaarsuvius remembered Blackwing.

As Blackwing flew to the Rift, Xykon cast Mass Hold Person on Vaarsuvius and O-Chul before realizing his phylactery was headed for the Rift. The lich flew up to retrieve it, Blackwing being held stunned by what he saw in the Rift itself... only to find written on the amulet:

Guess what spell I cast before giving this to the bird.

The amulet then exploded, injuring the lich and falling into a sewer. In anger Xykon returned to the tower and tried to cast meteor swarm down their throats, but the Monster in the Darkness somehow teleported both Vaarsuvius and O-Chul back to the island where Roy was being raised. There, he/she met up with the rest of the Order and the group departed for the Western Continent. During their brief stay on the island prior to them leaving, he/she made amends with first Durkon (who, surprisingly, apologized to V for not having been more supportive of their efforts and helped cheer the elf up by pointing out how he/she shouldn't discount the victories he/she did achieve even if they were unplanned) and Blackwing (who not only decides to start speaking to V in Common, but informs V what he saw in the Rift - an entire planet, with no Snarl in sight).

Blood Runs in the Family

Chastened by the events of the soul splice, V resolved to be a better master to Blackwing, and from that point on Blackwing consistently appears with Vaarsuvius.

When the party fails to find Girard's Gate in the location known to the Sapphire Guard, they traveled to Bleedingham, where V, along with Haley and Elan, is taken by the bounty hunters Gannji and Enor.

While a guest at the palace, V helped Haley free several slaves, though these same slaves were later recaptured and burned at the stake as a display for Elan.

During the games in Elan's honor, V, Haley, and Elan were ambushed by Zz'dtri (disguised as Polozius), and Yikyik. V engaged in an arcane battle with Zz'dtri, and was ultimately successful in defeating the drow, though V also got banished to the Semi-Elemental Plane of Ranch Dressing in the process. Belkar and Durkon would eventually rescue V from that place.

Finally arriving at Girard's Pyramid, Vaarsuvius's actions while spliced with Haerta Bloodsoak's soul would come back to haunt him/her. V discovered a mural that made her/him realize that the Familicide spell killed Girard Draketooth's entire family, as well as Penelope and many other innocent people. Horrified at this, he/she ran away, descending into the pyramid, activating a piston/trapdoor trap, knocking out both V and Blackwing.

Waking up, Blackwing attempts to console V, which almost works but fails due a mummy, which also activated the trap, echo "your fault" from Nale, which causes V to retreat by casting Passwall. While walking through a tunnel, V becomes even more distraught as Blackwing makes it worse. Later, Qarr teleports to them and taunts Vaarsuvius. V threatens to vent his/her fury on him, so Qarr attempts to convince V that the 3 spell casters influenced V's mind, yet V makes a inference that it is untrue. V and Blackwing then both infer that the Order descended into the pyramid when Qarr didn't stop them from going up.

Descending into the pyramid, V overhears Roy talking about destroying the Gate. V, knowing at this point that there may be too many variables of which Roy doesn't know, such as the planet Blackwing saw in the Azure City rift, attempts to warn them by catching their attention by knocking on the wall with a Bugsby's Hand spell while he/she and Blackwing shout at the top of their lungs. However, their attempt fails as the IFCC decides that was the time to call in part of V's contract, strapping their souls to a table in Hell, with the directors revealing that their bodies will be shielded from all harm during the duration of V's stay. Roy destroys the gate.

V watches the Order on the IFCC's television. While V is gagged and Sabine consoles V, saying that she's seen the directors take down more righteous mortals than him/her. Later, due to Nale's death by the hands of Tarquin, Sabine tells V everything she knows about the Vector Legion, including Laurin Shattersmith's weakness of pulling the big guns early and an estimation of her level. V's time in Hell then comes to an end, and V joins the battle against the Empire of Blood's army with a Wall of Fire, temporarily defending the Order. V admits to Roy about what Blackwing saw in the rift, Roy replies that they can't take the risk of the Snarl destroying their souls if they were to flee into the rift. Later, when the Order rides away on Bloodfeast, V uses Prismatic Spray on the Vector Legion's dinosaur ride. Then, after some fighting with Miron, Tarquin, and Laurin, V is incacipated by Tarquin with a whip, which is later held by Laurin. V is then saved by "Durkon". After the arrival of the Mechane, V flies Belkar up to the ship while Blackwing grabs Bloodfeast, who had been polymorphed into a normal lizard.

While V is checking for signs of pursuit, Tarquin boards the Mechane with the help of Laurin Shattersmith, sunders Elan's Rapier, break's Harley's arm, and nearly amputates Elan's hand. This is prevented by V, who uses Bugsby's Hand to nearly shove Tarquin off the ship. Tarquin, however, manages to hang onto the rails due to Laurin destroying the hand, though he loses his knife. V engages in a "caster fight' with Laurin in which she seemingly possesses the upper hand thanks to her apparent capability to counter everything V throws at her, but she books after V tells her that he/she has 25 spells remaining. As it turns out, she couldn't counter V's assault indefinitely, as she was running out of energy to do so. After the battle, V talks to Roy about the Familicide, Soul Splice, and the Snarl. V asks if he/she should depart, Roy replies by saying he won't stop Vaarsuvius if that's what he/she decides, but sometimes you have to stop the bleeding before you can start to heal. Roy ends the conversation by saying that, given the recent observations about the world within the rifts, they don't know what is really going on anymore.

Utterly Dwarfed

The Mechane stopped in Tinkertown to undertake repairs on its way to Kraagor's Gate, where V purchased a teleportation orb. But when the ship stopped at Zenith Peak for the Northern Godsmoot, V was unable to prevent the vampire Gontor Hammerfell from sneaking aboard and stealing the item, which the Gontor, Greg, and a few other vampires used to escape to Firmament, planning to disrupt the Council of Clans.

While running through Passage Pass, a clan of frost giants attacked the airship. V and Haley flew out to clear the way for the ship. They were initially very successful in dispatching the giants, but ran into some trouble with a group of giant clerics, who slowed them down, allowing another group to ambush the Mechane while only Roy and Elan were aboard to defend it. While this went on, Andi mutinied and took the ship off course, abandoning V, Haley, Belkar and Blackwing. When V and company had finished with the clerics, they could not find the Mechane, so they cleared the pass of the giants before finding the Mechane by following its black smoke.

The Order then entered the Temple Of Thor by the back door, where Minrah joined them. They entered the tunnels, where "Durkon's" vampire spawn attacked them. V cast a Forcecage to protect the party, inadvertently trapping them for a short time, before Hilgya Firehelm appeared with Kudzu, Durkon's son, distracting the vampires and allowing the Order to defeat them.

In the battle with "Durkon", V flew in, warded against level drain and physical attacks. The vampire spawn grabbed on to him/her, and Hilgya cast Chaos Hammer centered on V. Later in the battle, the vampires dispelled all the magic in the room, dispelling the Order's protection against domination. Haley, Elan, Belkar, and Hilgya were dominated, leading to Haley shooting V in the back, while Belkar prevented Minrah from healing the elf. The Order won in the end, after Mr. Scruffy activated Belkar's Protection From Evil cloak clasp and Belkar killed "Durkon".

In the battle to stop the vote of the dwarven elders, Vaarsuvius and Haley flew in invisibly. The giant death worm summoned by Vampire Gontor Hammerfell was able to detect the pair, and Gontor cast Invisibility Purge, revealing them. V attempted to trap Gontor in a Forcecage, but was blocked by the orange anti magic barrier. When the death worm cast Mass Hold Monster on the rest of the party, V caught Roy as he fell off the bridge and returned him to solid ground. He/she then helped take down the worm while Durkon and his family went into the chamber and stopped the vote.

After the battle, Vaarsuvius casts a Sending spell to contact Lien and O-Chul, informing them that the Order will arrive in two days. Unfortunately, both paladins were poisoned immediately afterwards and taken captive by Serini Toormuck.

Current Activities

V is currently with the rest of the Order at Kraagor's Gate, where he/she attempt to set up an ambush of the villains using the Gate complex's teleportation setup. Unfortunately, he/she got lured into an ambush by Serini, and V's powers were temporarily nullified by Sunny the Beholder's anti-magic eyebeam. After explaining to Sereni that the gods will likely destroy the world if Team Evil seizes the gate, she lead the party into the final dungeon, where V and the Order encountered Nale, who stunned the party with Blasphemy.

Personality, Abilities and Traits

Once again, Probability proves itself willing to sneak into a back alley and service Drama as would a copper-piece harlot.[20]

According to V's character profile in the No Cure for the Paladin Blues collection, Vaarsuvius is currently around 130 years old, although on his/her application form to join the Order, V claimed to be 103. V is rational, intelligent, perceptive, witty, and erudite to the point of often being unnecessarily long-winded and somewhat detached. V sees the world in a scholarly manner and is good at explaining things, but somewhat lacking in other people skills. To summarize, V fits many of the characteristics of the stereotypical intellectual, albeit backed up by the ability to inflict a considerable amount of magical destruction on those around them.

Vaarsuvius has a (justifiably) high opinion of his/her own magical and intellectual ability, which frequently comes across as arrogance and often feels that his/her powers are being wasted on minor matters. V's main motivation is knowledge and arcane power. However, V also finds joy in unleashing great destructive spells on a deserving target.

V's principal weakness is that she/he generally possesses the expectation that things should be clear and logical, and gets highly frustrated when the "real" world all too frequently fails to live up to this. Many of the comic's game-related jokes are based on V's observations about the rules of the world in which he/she lives. V appears to be overly confident in their power, which is fairly common in Wizards and Sorcerers—Roy's father Eugene Greenhilt himself shares this personality trait, as revealed in On the Origin of PCs. While Vaarsuvius is often irritated at the irrationality of the rest of the party. V has a relationship of mutual respect with Roy, based on their shared intellect, gets on reasonably well with Durkon and appears to regard Haley as a close friend and occasional confidante. V dislikes Belkar immensely (however V finds the ranger much more bearable than the arrogant and commanding Miko Miyazaki) and at one point went out of their way to irritate the halfling after the incident in Azure City when Belkar drunkenly kissed V. Vaarsuvius finds Elan's frivolity highly frustrating, although V has shown a genuine affection for the bard on occasion, mostly notably after Elan announced that he wanted to become a wizard and dressed up in a stereotypical wizard robe, hat and beard. Initially assuming that Elan was making fun of their profession, V became angry with Elan, leaving the bard in tears. Ultimately realizing that Elan actually saw wizards as being cool and powerful and wanted to emulate them by becoming one himself, V apologized. Elan happily accepted and the two now consider each other to be friends. V seems to have made an apology by teaching Elan how to make better, more effective illusions.

In addition to this, V seems to believe arcane power is the be all and end all, belittling Durkon's divine powers ("It is not as if [Durkon's spells] were REAL magic!"), and seeing them as the only options, seldom considering conventional means. In their last encounter, V was mocked mercilessly by Xykon, who proceeded to crush their windpipe with his bare hands while pointing out that types of power don't matter, as long as you earned it, and even O-Chul is wiser than Vaarsuvius in that regard. Vaarsuvius seems to have taken the "lesson" taught by Xykon to heart, however, as V has since become much less about using overwhelming arcane power and more about supporting their comrades and finding clever ways around an opponent's defenses, such as during the battle with Zz'dtri at the arena.

Vaarsuvius has a notable tendency to inflict punishment on others using the "Explosive Runes" spell; those who cross V often encounter the phrase "I prepared Explosive Runes this morning" (or similar) written somewhere unexpected. This was especially apparent in the aftermath of the kiss in the Azure City; Vaarsuvius subsequently used Explosive Runes on Belkar no fewer than 14 times including rigging a can of Belkar's coffee with them (modifying it to read "Explosive Runes brand coffee: Good to the last Kaboom"). V has also demonstrated a gift for improvised retribution; after being polymorphed into a lizard, Vaarsuvius responds to Belkar's attempt to determine V's gender with "My vengeance will be prolonged, diminutive cretin." Subsequently, V used Suggestion (one of only three spells their lizard form could cast) on a black dragon that has swallowed Haley, then commanded the dragon to "Vomit. Now. And aim for the halfling."

V apparently likes the works of Judy Garland. V also likes coffee, specifically espresso, though V won't say no to a glass of fine elven wine. V is a vegetarian.

Relationships

The Order of the Stick

Roy Greenhilt

"I respect your integrity. I would thus still value your opinion."

Vaarsuvius affords Roy a certain level of respect due to the fighter's intellect. V addresses him as "Sir Greenhilt" despite the fact that Roy is not a knight.

Haley Starshine

"I bunk only with Miss Starshine."

Haley and V consider each other dear friends, to the point that V refuses to room with anyone else. Further, Haley was initially the only member of the Order to know that V is (or rather, was) married. While the party was separated, V became obsessed with finding Haley.

Elan

V initially found Elan's constant stupidity annoying and was insulted when he expressed an interest in becoming a wizard, believing it to be an insult to V's profession, only to greatly upset Elan and learn Elan wanted to be a wizard because he looked up to V. Since then, V has infrequently mentored Elan in better using his bardic magic, especially his illusions. When Elan was kidnapped by bandits, V said that he/she would not throw away his/her hard earned friendship with him so quickly as to abandon him.

Durkon Thundershield

Vaarsuvius respects Durkon as a person, though, for a while, V thought very little of the divine magic he uses. After V bargained his/her soul to save their children and find Haley, Durkon commended what he/she did (not knowing the price) despite the fact that he/she did not manage to defeat Xykon, and the two became closer.

Belkar Bitterleaf

Roy: "Is that true, Vaarsuvius? Did you cast Explosive Runes on him?"

Vaarsuvius: "Technically, I cast Explosive Runes on a series of inanimate objects."

Belkar: "Well technically, it was the owlbear that ate you, asshat."

Belkar and V have a history of constant petty quarreling, but recently their rivalry seems to have subsided, to the point of which they are (almost) friends. This is probably due to V's humbling and Belkar's new (semi-fake) 'team player' attitude. Additionally, as neither are of the Good alignment, the two have similarly "coldly practical" mindsets towards killing their enemies.

Blackwing

"I have not always been the most considerate master. Or teammate. Or mate, for that matter. I appreciate the fact that, when the fate of the world potentially rested upon our actions, you were able to look past my previous mistreatment of you."

Originally, V usually forgot about Blackwing, only remembering him when someone reminded V about his existence. However, after the consequences of the Soul Splice ended with Blackwing failing to throw Xykon's phylactery into the Snarl rift, Vaarsuvius thanked Blackwing, to which he replied "You're welcome." This was the first time Blackwing spoke to Vaarsuvius in common in several years, shocking the elf. Blackwing then told V what he saw in the rift and V expressed that the Order may not know everything they should about their mission. Vaarsuvius's attitude towards Blackwing was further explored in Blood Runs in the Family, in which instead of Blackwing only appearing occasionally, he was kept around at all times. Vaarsuvius expressed anger when the party completely forgot about Blackwing, to the point that they believed the raven to be an illusion. Blackwing acted as a stabilizer when V was having difficulty controlling his/her emotions, such as when V was angry at the Process Server and the time when V became distressed at learning the consequences of the Familicide. V expressed some annoyance at Blackwing such as when he chanted "Caster fight" before the wizard's duel with Laurin Shattersmith and believed a slight smudge of dirt on three of his feathers was a state of dying, but ultimately, V wants to be a better master to Blackwing.

Team Evil

Xykon

Vaarsuvius: "Your villany comes to an end this day!"

Xykon: "Yeah, see I'm not feeling it. You just don't have that "righteous outrage" tone. What's really going on here?"

V is not particularly motivated to end the threat of Xykon. Even V's attack on him while under the effects of the Soul Splice was simply because he was the most powerful opponent that he/she could pit him/herself against. He/she eventually became more motivated to fight against Xykon though, after realizing that the very real possibility of Team Evil ending the world with the Snarl will likely prevent them from sufficiently atoning for their crimes.

Family

Inkyrius

"Are you implying that I have been a less-than-attentive mate?"

V and Inkyrius were initially married, but after V's actions under the influence of Soul Splice Inkyrius filed for divorce. V deeply regrets their separation and has spent time mournfully looking at old pictures of his/her former mate, but decided not to contest the divorce in order to help save the world.^[23]

Children

V was not always very attentive to his/her children, a fact that V now regrets.

Enemies

Daimyo Kabota

"What is a "Kubota"?"

Vaarsuvius never cared much for Daimyo Kubota, and when Elan captured him, V simply disintegrated him and blew away the ash, saying that he/she had no time for a trial.

Others

Celia

"I have no feelings on viewing you. You are largely irrelevant."

V was openly dismissive of Celia during the Soul Splice, regarding her as to insignificant to take notice of.

Sabine

Sabine: "You know what? You're right! I'm gonna go find them right now and kick that hussie's ass!"

Vaarsuvius: "Think nothing of it."

Oddly, V and Sabine seem to get along rather well. They shared a drink in Azure City where V gave Sabine relationship advice. When V was trapped in Hell with Sabine (who had been banished there), the two sat quite comfortably in each other's company. Sabine also encouraged V, when V was returning to the world, to "knock 'em dead, elf". It turns out she also took advantage of their time together to slip V useful information that helps them defeat Tarquin and his associates.

Powers and Abilities

Vaarsuvius appears to be level 12 during an incident where he/she attempted to charge the sum of 360 gold pieces for casting a Fireball spell (which carried a cost of thirty times the level of the spellcaster), and her/his ability to cast Disintegrate (a 6th-level spell). He/she is shown asking Zz'dtri if he would like Time Stop (9th level) for his house-ruled Fly, though this is likely sarcasm. Later he/she scribes the 7th-level spell Power Word: Blind, showing that he/she has progressed up to at least 13th level. In some comics, Vaarsuvius targeted a group of NPC soldiers with several Mass enhancement spells: since such spells affect 1 creature per level, and the target group was specifically limited by Vaarsuvius to no more than 13 soldiers, it may be inferred that Vaarsuvius had not progressed beyond 13th level at that point. As of #935, V had advanced to 16th level, based on spells remaining, a status confirmed in #1102 where the duration of their Forcecage is 34 hours (2 hours/level, +1 effective level from Blackwing's Ioun Stone).

• V is specialized in the Evocation school of magic; one of V's barred schools is Conjuration, and the other is Necromancy^[4] (though while trying to barter spells with Zz'dtri, V mentioned that there is a Vampiric Touch spell in his/her spellbook).^[24]
• High Intelligence: V is known to have had an Intelligence of 18 when recruited into the Order, which has increased in the interim.
• Elf: As an elf, Vaarsuvius is proficient with a bow and arrow, though V is by no means particularly good at using it.
• Spell List: Arcane Eye, Arcane Sight, Banishment, Bixby's Crushing Hand, Bugsby's Cat-Retrieving Hand, Bugsby's Clenched Fist, Bugsby's Expressive Single Digit, Bugsby's Flicking Finger, Bugsby's Grasping Hand, Bull's Strength, Burning Hands, Chain Lightning, Charm Monster, Cone of Cold, Crushing Despair, Detect Magic, Dimensional Anchor, Dimensional Lock, Disintegrate, Dispel Magic, Distant Inferno, Dominate Person, Expeditious Retreat, Explosive Runes, Feather Fall, Fireball, Fire Trap, Flamefinger, Fly, Forcecage, Greater Dispel Magic, Greater Invisibility, Gust of Wind, Haste, Heroism, Hold Monster, Hold Person, Hold Portal, Identify, Invisibility, Discount Invisibility Sphere, Light, Lightning Bolt, Locate Creature, Locate Object, Magic Missile, Mass Bear's Endurance, Mass Bull's Strength, Mass Enlarge Person, Mass Suggestion, Mind Blank, Overland Flight (usable on others), Owl's Wisdom, Passwall, Phantasmal Force, Polymorph, Power Word Blind, Power Word Stun, Prestidigitation, Prismatic Spray, Protection from Arrows, Ray of Frost, Resilient Sphere, Scorching Ray, See Invisibility, Sending, Shadow Conjuration (for Evan's Spiked Tentacles), Silent Image, Sleep, Stinking Cloud, Stoneskin, Stone to Flesh, Suggestion, Summon Plot Hole, Telepathic Bond, True Seeing, Vaarsuvius' Enhanced Scrying, Vaarsuvius' Greater Animal Messenger, Vampiric Touch (not castable), Veil, Wall of Fire, Wall of Force, an unspecified polymorph spell, and an unspecified sonic spell.

Weapons and Equipment

• Headband of Intellect +4: V has stated that he/she has a base intelligence score of 18. But When V was 11th level, he/she was able to cast four 6th level spells, indicating that at that point V possessed an item which gave them a +4 to intelligence. It has been hypothesized that the headband V wears is a +4 Headband of Intellect, which would account for this bonus.
• Ring of Wizardry III or IV: This ring was taken from Xykon after his defeat in the Dungeon of Dorukan. When fighting the Black Dragon of Wooden Forest, V states that the ring would allow them to cast Suggestion, a third level spell, many times. Thus, the ring must be a level III or IV Ring of Wizardry, doubling V's 3rd or 4th level slots.
• Orange Prism Ioun Stone Bracelet: This item is in the possession of Blackwing, who stole it from Laurin Shattersmith and had it crafted into a bracelet by a gnome Artificer. Vaarsuvius benefits from the stone when Blackwing is nearby due to their familiar relationship. It grants +1 caster level to all spells cast. Note that when V cast Forcecage with a 34 hour duration in 1102, he/she was NOT level 17, but rather level 16 and enjoying the bonus from this item.
• V also possesses the following items: a doily, two small gemstones, many scrolls and spellbooks, Finding Plot Holes for Dummies, twelve more books, two potions, apricot-scented face gel, a chalice, a jar of diamond dust, Bleedingham papers, defensive potions, Tarquin's whip, and a portrait of Inkyrius.

The Order of the Stick Adventure Game

Vaarsuvius is one of the characters players may choose when playing the Order of the Stick Adventure Game. The abilities of the character are reflective of his/her personality and skills as depicted in the comic, with cards titled such things as Fireball, Verbose Recitation, and Ambiguous Gender. The listed alignment is Arrogant Neutral.

Trivia

• It is a running joke in the comic that Vaarsuvius's gender is intentionally unclear, even from his/her teammates, and author Rich Burlew has already stated that V's gender will not be revealed and that any instances of characters in the comic referring to V as "he" or "she" only reflect on those characters' perceptions, and not on the reality of V's gender.^[25] In the various author commentaries in the published books, Rich frequently refers to V as "he/she" or "she/he," rather than "they."
  • Vaarsuvius appears to have trouble telling genders apart his/herself—when Roy was magically transformed into a woman, V appeared not to notice. V also did not find it odd when Nale (disguised as Elan) was making out with an apparently male CPPD officer (actually Sabine shapeshifted). When Sabine asked V about their opinions on men, V claimed to not be certain he/she was the most qualified to discuss gender traits. In one instance, V was transformed into a lizard and Belkar examined the lizard's genitals in an attempt to determine the elf's gender, but lacked sufficient knowledge pertaining to lizard biology.
  • Vaarsuvius's children are adopted, which could be an indicator that Vaarsuvius and Inkyrius can't have children of their own, and seeing as how neither of their genders are known, it could indicate that the two are a homosexual couple. Another possible hint to V's sexuality is their stated appreciation for gay icon^[26] Judy Garland.^[27]talk
  • In the Gygax Magazine continuity, Vaarsuvius has changed genders, appearing subtly different but just as androgynous.

• Vaarsuvius is an anagram for the latin phrase Varius Avus, meaning various grandfathers. It may also be a slight corruption of Vesuvius, the name of a large volcano that erupted and destroyed Pompeii. This is backed up by V's evil opposite at one time being named Pompey.

• Rich has revealed that the four words to gain ultimate arcane power, "I...I must succeed" were actually said to him/herself, not to the directors of the IFCC, so it wasn't a mistake that the prophecy said "being" instead of "beings".

Gallery

References

The Order of the Stick
Roy Greenhilt • Haley Starshine • Durkon Thundershield • Elan • Vaarsuvius • Belkar Bitterleaf • Minrah Shaleshoe

Appearances

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