Team Evil recruits some new talent.
Xykon takes on a new recruit to Team Evil.
Cast
- Vaarsuvius ◀ ▶
- Xykon ◀ ▶
- Tsukiko ◀ ▶
- Four Azure City soldiers
- 4 Azurite Clerics
- 2 Azurite Wizards
- The armies of the Battle of Azure City
Transcript
- Panel 1
Xykon flies through the air.
Xykon: O guy I killed, the ground, the ground is calling...
Xykon: Catchy tune.
- Panel 2
Xykon flies over the breach with the clashing armies of hobgoblins and Azurites far below. One can see the red figure of Vaarsuvius casting Lighting Bolt.
Xykon: OK, time to stop fooling around with the city wall and get right at this castle.
- Panel 3
Xykon: Sorry, guys, no time for my usual banter, I'm running late.
Xykon: Looks like I'm gonna have to zap and run.
Xykon kills two clerics and a wizard with a flame spell of some sort.
Tsukiko: Wait! I want to help you!
- Panel 4
Xykon lands on a parapet of the Azure City castle.
Tsukiko: I'm not really with them, I want to be evil! Let me join your side.
Xykon: I think we might have a few entry-level positions. Do you have your resumé on you?
Soldier: Traitor!
- Panel 5
Tsukiko produces her resumé. Xykon kills the soldier without looking with an energy draining touch.
Xykon: Hmmm... trained as a mystic theurge... with two years experience as an intern graverobber...
Tsukiko: Yes sir, I love the undead.
- Panel 6
Tsukiko: I mean I really LOVE the undead.
Xykon: Hey, now, let's keep things professional. I'm not one of those disgusting biophiliacs.
- Panel 7
Xykon: Well, kid, let's see what you've got. Hit me with your best negative energy spell, I could use some healing.
Tsukiko: Inflict Critical Wounds!
Xykon: Nice!
- Panel 8
Xykon: Ok, Miss... uh...
Tsukiko: Tsukiko.
Xykon: Miss Tsukiko, you're gonna fill out these payroll forms and drop them off with the goblin in the red cloak.
Xykon hands her some color-coded forms in triplicate.
Xykon: Welcome to Team Evil.
- Panel 9
Xykon: Your first job is to kill everyone on the castle parapets and animate as many as you can as undead.
Tsukiko: With pleasure, sir!
Xykon: Uh, not TOO much pleasure, we have a schedule to keep.
- Panel 10
Xykon: No if you'll excuse me, I have a throne room to find.
Tsukiko: It's on the 8th floor.
Xykon flies off, while Tsukiko also takes to the air and casts spells at the clerics, wizard, and soldiers on the parapet.
Tsukiko: No come here, you oppressive sons of bitches! I'm gonna rip off your—
- Panel 11
An advertisement for Team Evil:
EVIL
A Growth Industry!
Xykon: We're ALWAYS hiring!
NASDAQ Symbol: DOOM
D&D Context
- Tsukiko is a multi-classed Necromancer/Cleric/Mystic Theurge. In the final panel she is simultaneously casting divine and arcane spells.
- Inflict Critical Wounds has the opposite effect (healing) on undead.
- Based on the color of the dot as well as their position at the breach in the wall, what appears to be Vaarsuvius is casting a Lightning Bolt into the hobgoblin horde in panel 2. Lightning Bolt is a 3rd level spell which deals 1d6 damage per level to all targets in a straight line. The spell is not called out.
- Similarly, Xykon does not call out the spell he is casting in panel 3. He is most likely casting Burning Hands, though perhaps another more powerful spell, considering that spell maxes out at 5d4 damage, and it was able to kill all three of the wizards and cleric. Of course it is also possible that the spellcasters are simply low level.
Trivia
- This strip is the origin of calling Xykon's faction "Team Evil".
- Necrophilia is the desire to have sex with corpses. Being undead, Xykon finds the concept of "biophiliacs" (sex with living beings) to be a reciprocal taboo.
- Tsukiko previously appeared in #420, but her name was not mentioned. She was noted as having been imprisoned for "unnatural acts of wizardry."