Vaarsuvius becomes frustrated over the illogical rules of D&D magic.
Cast
- Vaarsuvius ◀ ▶
- Azurite Archmage ▶
- Another Wizard
Transcript
- Panel 1
Vaarsuvius: I must thank you again for your kind assistance in scribing these new spells into my spellbook these past few days.
Archmage: It's been our pleasure, Vaarsuvius.
- Panel 2
Vaarsuvius: Let us see, I have but eight pages left in my spellbook. I believe it would be most efficient to scribe this spell, Power Word Blind.
- Panel 3
Archmage: That spell is 7th level, so it takes up seven pages.
Vaarsuvius: But...the spell is only one word long.
- Panel 4
Vaarsuvius: It is a Power Word, a single word of such magical potence that its merest utterance unleashes the mightiest of mystical power.
Vaarsuvius: It is, by its very definition, a one-word spell.
- Panel 5
Archmage: Sorry, it still takes up seven whole pages in your spellbook.
Vaarsuvius: But look, I have just written the word in my spellbook. It does not take up even a full line, much less a page, much less SEVEN!
- Panel 6
Archmage: Aw, see, now you're going to have to leave the next six pages blank.
Vaarsuvius: Why? Does it need some alone time? Are we giving the word its personal space? Perhaps we should ask it to discuss its feelings?
- Panel 7
Archmage: Hey, don't get mad at me, I didn't write the laws of magic, you know!
Vaarsuvius: Obviously not. If you had, there would have been a few hundred blank pages at the end.
Archmage: HEY!
- Panel 8
Vaarsuvius: Never mind, I apologize. I will waste the precious space in my main spellbook for this spell and leave the six other pages blank, if only to avoid an unseemly dispute.
- Panel 9
Vaarsuvius: That still leaves me one page left upon which to scribe spells.
Vaarsuvius: Enough room for a new 1st-level spell, I suppose. Hand me that book behind you, please.
Archmage: Ummmm...
- Panel 10
Archmage: You can only scribe one spell per day. You'll have to wait until tomorrow for another.
Vaarsuvius: But it...it was only one... one word...
- Panel 11
Vaarsuvius: ONE!
Vaarsuvius: WORD!
- Panel 12
Wizardess: Should we tell him about the 350gp worth of ink he used?
Archmage: No, let him sleep it off.
Vaarsuvius: sob.
D&D Context
- Wizards record spells in their spellbook so they can prepare them later.
- When recording spells, a spell takes up pages equal to its level.
- Wizards can only record one spell per day.
- Recording spells costs gold pieces equal to the level of the spell times 50.
- A standard spellbook contains 100 pages. This means that Vaarsuvius' comment in panel 7 is incorrect, as only 99 pages could be left blank after a spell.
- Power Word Blind is a 7th-level Wizard spell that blinds one opponent.
Trivia
- Since Vaarsuvius is an elf, "sleeping it off" is also incorrect; V would be "trancing".
- This is the first appearance of the Azurite Archmage.