The assassins leap from the inn, followed by Roy.
Cast
- Roy Greenhilt (as a woman) ◀ ▶
- Haley Starshine ◀ ▶
- Vaarsuvius ◀ ▶
- The Assassins
Transcript
- Panel 1
Redaxe shoots, "BOOM!" Roy blocks the shot from the dwarf's gun with his shield, Haley shoots an arrow.
Redaxe: Ahh! Help! Whore attack!
Haley: So help me, if you keep calling us whores, I'm gonna Sneak Attack you where the sun don't shine.
- Panel 2
Roy smashes the dwarf's gun, "sunder!" while the Shadowdancer climbs back in the window.
Shadowdancer: Did you just say, "Whore Attack"??
Haley (off-panel): I mean it!
- Panel 3
The shadowdancer throws three shuriken.
Redaxe: Don't just stand thar, throw yer li'l stars at someone!
Shadowdancer: Done!
- Panel 4
Vaarsuvius: Protection from Arrows.
Vaarsuvius: (Which, incidentally, functions equally well against shuriken.)
Vaarsuvius deflects the shuriken, "bink! bink! bink!"
- Panel 5
The shadowdancer jumps out the window, carrying the dwarf and a barrel of explosives.
Shadowdancer: Screw this! I'm not getting rubbed out by magic-wielding hookers!
Redaxe: Must be some obscure prestige class...
- Panel 6
Outside, Shadowdancer and Redaxe repel out the window, using a grappling hook stuck in the wall.
Shadowdancer: Geez, this barrel weighs a ton!
Redaxe: Just hang on, an' I'll get us out of this.
- Panel 7
Roy (off-panel): V, do you have Feather Fall prepared?
Vaarsuvius (off-panel): Of course, Sir Greenhilt.
Roy (off-panel): Good.
Shadowdancer: That will be nice and symmetrical, seeing as how you got us INTO this.
- Panel 8
beat
- Panel 9
Roy jumps out the window.
- Panel 10
Vaarsuvius: Feather Fall.
Haley: WHOOOO! You go, girl!
Roy: Shut! Up!
D&D Context
- The ball fired by the dwarven assassin has such a low muzzle velocity it bounces off of Roy's shield in the first panel. It's noteworthy that the metal is not soft like lead, or it would flatten on the shield. Instead it bounces off like a rubber ball. Whenever firearms are added to the game they often use the same rules as arrows, creating absurdities like this.
- Sneak Attack is a Rogue ability that provides extra damage under some circumstances.
- Protection from Arrows is a 2nd-level Wizard spell that provides an armor bonus against ranged physical attacks.
- Feather Fall is a 1st-level Wizard spell that makes objects fall slower.
Trivia
- The title of the strip is a reference to Fox Network's When Animals Attack! series.