Haley and the Bandit King have some words to say, and they're not pretty.
Cast
Transcript
- Panel 1
Samantha: What in the Nine Hells is going on here?
Elan: Hi Haley!
Bandit King: You have some explaining to do, young lady.
Haley: Don't you "Hi Haley" me! What do you think you're doing, Elan?
- Panel 2
Samantha: I don't have to explain myself to you anymore, Dad. I lead the bandits now, I can do whatever I want.
Elan: I was just waiting to be rescued. Is Roy with you?
Bandit King: I am still your father, and I will not see my noble band of brigands turned into some kind of cheap dating service.
Haley: No, and I should have listened to him.
- Panel 3
Elan: Oh, Haley, this is Samantha. She's the leader of the bandits.
Haley: I know who the slut is, Elan.
Samantha: ExCUSE me?
- Panel 4
Haley: Oh, you're excused. Just get your damn hands off of my—
Haley: —off of Elan.
Samantha: I'll put my "damn hands" on anyone I want, you hag.
- Panel 5
Elan: Haley, why are you mad at me?
Haley: Oh, I don't know, because you were all over this evil sorceress tramp?
Elan: But it's my solemn duty to seduce female bad guys. It's like in the bard charter or something.
- Panel 6
Samantha: Seduce—?
Bandit King: So you admit taking advantage of my innocent teenage daughter then?
Haley: Innocent?
Elan: Um, what I meant was...
- Panel 7
Samantha: I know what you meant.
Samantha: Guards! Seize ALL of the intruders, including the blonde.
Haley: Not so fast!
- Panel 8
Haley: I challenge you to solo combat for leadership of the bandits!
- Panel 9
Samantha has knocked Haley out in solo combat.
Belkar: So.
Belkar: Plan S, then?
D&D Context
- In canonical D&D literature, the Nine Hells is the plane of pure Lawful Evil creatures, known as Devils.
- Bards, thanks to their high Charisma, access to social skills like Bluff and Diplomacy, and various utility spells, are one of the best classes in social situations. Due to this, it is often joked among players that bards are designed around seduction, hence Elan's remark.
Trivia
- This is the first comic in which Haley's romantic interest in Elan is fairly apparent; Haley had to cut herself off to prevent calling him her "boyfriend".
- The title suggests the solo combat contest would have been a Jell-O wrestling match, presumably for the titillation factor since the fight involved two attractive women, had the facilities for such an event been available.