Vaarsuvius and Durkon banter on the finer points of Cliffport's curious combination of magic and technology before being approached by the evil arch-druid, Leeky Windstaff.
Cast
- Durkon Thundershield ◀ ▶
- Vaarsuvius ◀ ▶
- Leeky Windstaff ▶
- Leeky's Trees ◀ ▶
- Two Citizens of Cliffport
Transcript
- Panel 1
Vaarsuvius: No, I understand, I'm simply saying that the architectural motifs found here in the city of Cliffport are inconsistent with the presumed medieval time period.
Durkon: It be magic.
- Panel 2
Vaarsuvius: Yes, fine, I grasp the premise that any sufficiently advanced—and in particular, reliable—magic would be indistinguishable from technology, I merely find the implementation here haphazard at best.
Durkon: Meh. It could be worse, ye know.
- Panel 3
Vaarsuvius: Oh?
Durkon: They could have magic trains.
Vaarsuvius: Point taken.
- Panel 4
A loud "CRACK!" resounds nearby.
Durkon: Did ye hear that? Sounds like trouble in tha warehouse!
Vaarsuvius: Now wait, do not jump to conclusions regarding the meaning of any—
- Panel 5
Another "CRAACK!" is heard.
Durkon: Thor's another 'un! Roy's in trouble! We're comin', lad!!
Vaarsuvius: Wait! We cannot hope to provide effective countermeasures without more information.
Vaarsuvius grips at Durkon, who is trying to valiantly march away after Roy.
Durkon: Leggo!
- Panel 6
Durkon falters, disgruntled, reflecting on Vaarsuvius' words.
Vaarsuvius: We shall be little help to Sir Greenhilt if we go barreling in and fall prey to the same exact trap.
Durkon: But tha lad needs us! We gotta—
- Panel 7
Leeky (off-panel): ATTENTION MEWLING CITY DWELLERS!
Durkon: Well THAT cannae be a good thing.
- Panel 8
Leeky: Gaze in fear as the trees of your much-vaunted "municipal park" angrily awaken to wreak bloody vengeance on you for incarcerating them in a well-mowed prison!
Leeky: The once and future masters of this land walk among you now! Let those who led their dogs to urinate upon them now flee in mortal terror!
Leeky's namesake staff glows, and several awakened trees are seen harassing the park dwellers; they flee in terror as the druid delivers holy deliverance from their evil dog-wetting ways.
- Panel 9
Leeky: Crush them, my leafy comrades! Tear down this concrete abomination once and for all!
Leeky: So commands Leeky Windstaff, evil gnome druid! Bwahahaha!
- Panel 10
Vaarsuvius: Fascinating. Durkon, I have just formulated a theory that encompasses both Nale's likely method of engagement and the most suitable response on our part.
- Panel 11
Durkon: THA TREES BE ATTACKIN'!! RUN FER YER LIVES!!!
Vaarsuvius: Ah, I see you have already grasped the core principles of my theory.
Durkon panics, serving as foil to the stoicly observing Vaarsuvius.
D&D Context
- Leeky does not shout the spell, as is the convention in Order of the Stick, leaving some ambiguity as to what spell was used to animate the trees. One possibility is Animate Plants, a 7th level spell which animates 1 plant per 3 caster levels, or half that if the trees are in the Huge size category. It would probably require Leeky two castings of this spell to animate four trees if they are indeed Huge. Another possibility is Awaken, a 5th level druid spell, which allows a druid to awaken a tree or animal and give them intelligence. Since this spell only targets a single individual, Leeky would need to have had cast the spell four times to animate all the trees.
- Durkon's suggestion of "Magic Trains" is a jab at the Eberron campaign setting, which features these. Rich Burlew was a participant in the same contest that led to Eberron's creation, but ultimately lost to it despite making it to the top three.
Trivia
- The title of the strip references the common idiom "A walk in the park" to mean something easy and peaceful.
- This is the first appearance of Leeky Windstaff, and the second for Leeky's Trees, their first as awakened trees.
- In panel two Vaarsuvius is satirizing Arthur Clarke's Third Law, "Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic." It is, furthermore, a reference to the converse of this third law, "Any sufficiently advanced magic is indistinguishable from technology."
- The conversation between Vaarsuvius and Durkon may be in reference to the tropes Schizotech, in general, and more specifically (panel three) Magitek.
- In regards to panel eight: urine is high in nitrogen, one of three key macronutrients, and further contains phosphate and potassium. That a druid would not be aware of this shows either hypocrisy or vanity on his part—resource reallocation is a critical component in real-world ecologies. Further reading, from Wikipedia.
