The Verdict was not the Climax.
Cast
- The Order of the Stick
- Mr. Scruffy ◀ ▶
- Celia ◀ ▶
- Lord Shojo ◀ ▶
- Hinjo ◀ ▶
- Miko Miyazaki ◀ ▶
- Eugene Greenhilt (as Being of Pure Law and Good) ◀ ▶
- The Lawyers
- Azurite Priest with Black Hair ◀
- Azurite Priest with Blue Beard ◀
- Azurite Priestess ◀
- Azurite Priest with Mustache ◀
Transcript
- Panel 1, Page 1
Being of Pure Law and Good: —Not Guilty.
- Panel 2, Page 1
Roy: Well, guys it's been an honor to work with you, and I guess I may see some of you in whatever afterlife—
- Panel 3, Page 1
Roy: ...
Roy: Wait, did he say NOT Guilty?
Elan: Hooray!
Vaarsuvius: Outstanding.
Haley: Zktv?
- Panel 4, Page 1
Being of Pure Law and Good: By virtue of it having been strictly necessary at the time, the Order of the Stick is hereby cleared of all charges.
- Panel 5, Page 1
Roy: Hmm. Go figure. I had pretty much given upon there being any justice at this farce of a trial, but I guess I was being too cynical.
Haley: Fx, ztbv, vktv aupqbev qxusf'v ntou sufsu. Qtzs qxf'v zxpo vktv ztd.
- Panel 6, Page 1
Celia: Wheee! I won! I won my first case!
Roy: Ha ha!
Haley: B'au suuf ufxlck nd Vkbuaus' Clbwq ipbufqs sufv vx jpbsxf vx ofxz vktv vkbs skxlwq ktau huuf t exfabevbxf.
- Panel 7, Page 1
Lord Shojo: Thank you, Being of Pure Law and Good, for your service in this matter. Hinjo, please retrieve the Order of the Stick's weapons. They are free to go.
Hinjo (off-panel): Yes, Lord Shojo.
- Panel 8, Page 1
Lord Shojo (off-panel): And Hinjo... Why do I have a piece of paper on my lap that says "Meow"?
Elan: I didn't know if Mr. Scruffy could read Common.
- Panel 9, Page 1
Roy: I'm going to make a radical suggestion here and propose that we leave this awful place and never return.
Vaarsuvius: I second your motion.
Haley: Hlv...hlv bv qxusf'v ntou tfd sufsu!
- Panel 10, Page 1
Elan: Ummmm, Haley? Are you OK there?
Haley: Fx! B'n fxt XO, vkbs zkxwu vpbtw ntqu FX SUFSU!
- Panel 11, Page 1
Haley: Zu ZUPU clbwvd! Bv skxlwq ktau huuf t clbwvd aupqbev! B etf ifqupsvtfq bi vkud ztfvuq vx puqleu vku sufvufeu qlu vx vku ebpelnsvtfeus, hlv bv skxlwq ktau svbww huuf t clbwvd aupqbev.
- Panel 12, Page 1
Hinjo begins passing out the Order's weapons to each member.
Elan: I guess you're upset? Did you vote for the other guy?
Haley: Xk, fuaup nbfq, B qxf'v ofxz zkd B'n hxvkupbfc.
Elan: It's tough to tell if you're mad at me. I mean, you LOOK mad, but looks can be deceiving.
- Panel 1, Page 2
Lord Shojo: Mr. Greenhilt? Mr. Scruffy would like to have a word with you before you leave.
Roy: Yeah? Well Mr. Scruffy can shove it up his fuzzy little—
Haley: Ztbv-Uwtf, zktv qbq dxl rlsv std?
Elan: I understand, though. I'm kinda bummed out too. All that time spent on the trial, and what a let down.
- Panel 2, Page 2
Elan: I mean, they call that a climax? "Not Guilty, thanks, now leave"?
Haley: Xk nd cxqs, Uwtf! Vktv's bv! Uwtf, dxl'pu t cufbls!
Elan: That's not a climax!
- Panel 3, Page 2
Miko smashes through the window, "CEEESH!" and impales Belkar with her katana.
- Panel 4, Page 2
Belkar lays on the floor hurt as Miko raises her sword above him, magic visibly emanating from it.
Miko: Time to DIE, evildoer!
- Panel 5, Page 2
Elan: Now, see that?
Elan: THAT'S a climax!
D&D Context
- Common is the basic language of the world.
Trivia
- The translation of Haley's lines are:
- Panel 3, Page 1: What?
- Panel 5, Page 1: No, wait, that verdict doesn't make sense. Daws [sic - Laws] don't work that way.
- Panel 6, Page 1: I've seen enough of my Thieves' Guild friends sent to prison to know that this should have been a conviction.
- Panel 9, Page 1: But...but it doesn't make any sense!
- Panel 10, Page 1: No! I'm noa [sic - not] OK, this whole trial made NO SENSE!
- Panel 11, Page 1: We WERE guilty! It should have been a guilty verdict! I can fnderstand [sic - understand] if they wanted to reduce the sentence due to the circumstances, but it should have still been a guilty verdict.
- Panel 12, Page 1: Oh, never mind. I don't know why I'm bothering.
- Panel 1, Page 2: Wait—Elan, what did you just say?
- Panel 2, Page 2: Oh my gods, Elan! That's it! Elan, you're a genius!
- Note that the encryption key to Haley's cryptograms in this strip is "The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog", with repeated letters removed.
- In the previous strip, Elan was encouraged by Roy to "vote" for who he wanted to win the trial by slipping a note to Mr. Scruffy.
- This is the final appearance of the four priests who summoned the Being of Pure Law and Good: Azurite Priest with Black Hair, Azureite Priest with Blue Beard, Azurite Priestess, and Azurite Priest with Mustache. The former two first appeared in #267, while the latter two first appeared in #283.