The gladiators audition for their slots in the games.
Cast
- Roy Greenhilt ◀ ▶
- Belkar Bitterleaf ◀ ▶
- Gannji ◀ ▶
- Enor ◀ ▶
- Gladiator Warden ◀ ▶
- Reddish Lizardfolk Gladiator ◀ ▶
- Unshaven Gladiator ◀ ▶
- Weaker Gladiator ◀ ▶
- Blond Gladiator ◀ ▶
- Gladiator with Red Hair ◀
- Oil Steward ◀
- Four Empire of Blood Guards
Transcript
- Panel 1
Trainer: Mornin'. How's the new blood workin' out?
Guard: The dragon's on the schedule for tomorrow's games, but I'm not sure about anyone else.
Belkar: Come on, Roy, what the hell? I've seen more competent battle moves from a hexblade.
Roy: Keep it down!
- Panel 2
Roy: The old guys said that if we're mediocre, they won't schedule us to fight.
Belkar: So...if I'm extra-awesome, then they definitely WILL schedule me to fight?
Roy: I suppose, but I don't see how that would help our—
- Panel 3
Belkar: Hey! Scheduling dudes! Look at me! Over here!
Belkar wacks the red-haired gladiator on the head, "thwonk!"
Gladiator with Red Hair: Aaah!
- Panel 4
Belkar: How about nut shots?
Belkar: Crowds love nut shots.
Belkar: Saget was on the air for like 8 years.
Belkar hits the unshaven gladiator in the nuts, "thjunk!"
- Panel 5
Belkar jumps and double hits the blond gladiaotr and the reddish lizardfolk gladiator both on the head, "thonk! thonk!"
Belkar: Everyone, follow the bouncing halfling!
Trainer: Hey, he's pretty good.
Guard #1: I think we found our headliner.
Guard #2: Heh heh... nut shots.
- Panel 6
Gannji pushes Roy towards Belkar, "shove!"
Belkar: Ooof!
Gannji: Heads up, mammals!
- Panel 7
Belkar: Hey, this is even better! Thanks, reptilian guy!
Belkar hits Roy, "thonk!"
Roy: Ow! Belkar, stop it!
- Panel 8
Belkar: What, Roy? I'm helping you! I'm making sure you look mediocre, isn't that what you want?
Roy: Stop it! Belkar, I said stop!
Belkar hits Roy repeatedly, "thonk! thonk! thonk! thonk! thonk! thonk! thonk!"
Roy: OW!
- Panel 9
Roy: I SAID STOP IT.
With a mighty blow Roy smashes Belkar to the ground and disarms him, "WUNK!"
- Panel 10
Oil Steward: Are you OK?
Belkar: 'mfine. Halflings may only be able to advance to level 8, but I've got Attack Rank G.
Guard #1: That boy got his ass knocked back to Basic!
Guard #2: Damn!
Trainer: Put the human in the first slot, and the blue dragon as number two.
D&D Context
- Hexblade is a character class introduced for D&D 3.5 Edition in the 2003 Complete Warrior. Hexblades combine combat ability with magic, particularly curses. The hexblade lacks any significant melee combat abilities apart from its weapon proficiencies and attack bonus (such that its creator famously admitted the class was undertuned in power, and released an unofficial buff).
- The Dungeons & Dragons Basic Set, first published in 1977 and subsequently in 1981, 1983 and 1991, was intended as an introduction to the game for new players. In the Basic rules, characters were actually limited to levels 1-3, rather than 8 as Belkar says. Rules for levels 4-14 were included in the 1981 and 1983 Expert Set. It is to this version of D&D that Belkar has been knocked. In this version though humans could advance to 14th level, Halflings could only advance to 8th level. Attack ranks gave demihumans additional combat abilities, which could compensate for their limited level progression.
Trivia
- Bob Saget hosted America's Funniest Home Videos for eight seasons beginning in 1990. The show was known for its penchant for including videos of accidental trauma to men's gonads.
- This is the only other appearance of the Oil Steward. He first appeared in #736, Do You Like Comics About Gladiators?
- This is the only other appearance of the Gladiator with Red Hair, who also appeared in #745.