Gannji and Enor arrive at the gladiator yard, and Roy attempts to reconcile with them.
Cast
- Roy Greenhilt ◀ ▶
- Belkar Bitterleaf ◀ ▶
- Gannji ◀ ▶
- Enor ◀ ▶
- A Soldier of the Empire of Blood
Transcript
- Panel 1
Gannji: Get your grubby monkey paws off me, human!
Gannji: And I don't need your standard issue loincloth, I've been walking around without pants this entire time!
Gannji: It's called a genital sheath, look it up.
Belkar and Roy train with wooden swords, "clonk! clonk! clonk!"
- Panel 2
Gannji: Hey, while you're at it, look up "hemipenes", because you can suck both of my—
Roy: Hey Belkar, look who's Get Out of Jail Free card got shuffled back into the deck.
Roy: It's nice to know that injustice is blind around here.
- Panel 3
Gannji: YOU! We wouldn't be here if you hadn't—
Roy: —asked you an entirely reasonable question, to which you responded with violence?
Gannji: Yes! Exactly! What were you possibly thinking???
- Panel 4
Gannji: Too bad about your friends. At least I have the satisfaction of knowing that they're being tortured to death in the palace.
Gannji: Where "tortured to death" may or may not mean "having a nationwide festival thrown in their honor."
- Panel 5
Roy: Rescuing them is already covered, thanks.
Roy: Look, we're all in the same boat here. I don't think anyone wants to fight and kill another prisoner.
Belkar: Actually—
Roy: Except possibly Belkar.
- Panel 6
Roy: I'm willing to accept that, as bounty hunters, you were just doing your job when you captured my friends.
Roy: Your shockingly amateurish slipshod job.
Roy: Why don't we forget those past grievances and try to work together?
- Panel 7
Gannji: No thanks. Last time I trusted a mammal, we ended up in here.
Gannji: Besides, I may not want to be here, but I'm not going to miss a free pass to mess you up.
- Panel 8
Gannji: So pray to your weird Northern Gods that you never end up in the arena with my boy Enor here.
Gannji: Without all your fancy magic items, he'll tear your heart out and eat it.
- Panel 9
Enor: But Gannji, I don't like human hearts. They're too chewy.
Gannji: You'll eat his heart and like it. It's full of vitamins and minerals.
- Panel 10
Enor: *sigh* OK.
Belkar: You should try his heart sautéed in garlic. It'll soften it up and really bring out that hearty flavor.
Roy: BELKAR!
- Panel 11
Roy: That is not what I meant when I suggested that we work together!
Belkar: Hey, I'm trying here! I have exactly two skillsets, and you get mad when I use the other one!
D&D Context
- Belkar has skill ranks in Profession (gourmet chef) as he tells Haley in #477, as well as in the Dragon magazine Order of the Stick comics. His other skillset is, of course, killing people.
Trivia
- Roy, when he sees Ganjii and Enor says "Hey Belkar, look who's Get Out of Jail Free Card got shuffled back into the deck." This statement is possibly based on what he said in #294, where he told the rest of the party that he had managed to get Belkar released from Azure City prison using the same metaphor.
- Hemipenes are a pair of intromittent organs of male squamates. The hemipenes are usually held inverted in the genital sheath.
- Gannji's phrase "Get your grubby monkey paws off me, human!" is probably a reference to the famous quote "Take your stinking paws off me, you damn dirty ape!" from the movie "Planet of the Apes" (1968).