A shapeshifted Sabine ambushes Elan and delivers him to Nale. Nale's gloating is interrupted by Elan again managing to use "willful ignorance" as a form of attack.
Cast
- Haley Starshine (as statue and shrunk) ◀ ▶
- Elan ◀ ▶
- Nale ◀ ▶
- Sabine (also as Dave) ◀ ▶
- Six Soldiers of the Empire of Blood
Transcript
- Panel 1
Elan sweats as he runs up the hill to the palace.
Elan: Whew! I'm exhausted!
Elan: I really need to take the Endurance feat next time. Or the Run feat. Those would both be solid choices.
- Panel 2
Lizardfolk Guard: Whoa, whoa, whoa! Where do you think you're going?
Elan: I need to warn my friend, Durkon! He's inside, and he doesn't know the Linear Guild is attacking!
Lizardfolk Guard: And you are...?
- Panel 3
Elan: I'm General Tarquin's son! I've been staying here for two days! This whole stupid festival is about me!
Lizardfolk Guard: You still need to show me your paperwork to get in or out of the palace.
- Panel 4
Elan: Fine, here's the dumb piece of paper. Can I go in now?
Lizardfolk Guard: Hmmm... yes. Yes, this will do. See? That wasn't so hard, was it?
Lizardfolk Guard: Dave, can you show this gentleman into the palace?
Elan: I don't need a guide, I know where I'm going!
Sabine: Be that as it may—
- Panel 5
Sabine suddenly grows wings and grabs Elan.
Sabine: —I insist.
Elan: *gllrk!*
- Panel 6
Sabine flies straight up into the air with Elan with a "wooosh!!"
- Panel 7
Lizardfolk Guard: Huh.
Lizardfolk Guard: Did you know Dave had wings?
Human guard: I didn't know his name was Dave.
- Panel 8
Sabine: Long time, no see, Elan. Here, let me give you a kiss hello.
Sabine kisses Elan, “smooch!”, and he is surrounded by a black glow.
Elan: Arrrgh!!
Elan: Where are you taking me, Sabine?
- Panel 9
Sabine approaches Elan in a large unfinished open room.
Sabine: The palace, like you asked.
Elan: Just the part that's not quite finished yet.
Nale: Fitting, since my conquest is not quite finished, yet. But it will be soon.
- Panel 10
Sabine and Elan land on the ground next to Nale.
Elan: Nale! You're alive!
Nale: Of course I'm alive, you moron.
Nale: What I can't figure out is how you didn't KNOW I was alive the whole time.
Nale: You're the bard, surely you should have known that when the bad guy dies off-screen, he's not really dead unless you see the body.
Nale: And half the time, not even then.
- Panel 11
Elan: Yeah, but the hero always THINKS the bad guy is dead until he shows up again.
Nale: But... if you know that, then how can you be surprised... Why didn't you realize that you thinking I was dead was... I mean...
- Panel 12
Nale: Gah! I think I'm giving myself a migraine trying to understand the level of willful ignorance that requires!
Elan: First blood: ELAN!
D&D Context
- The Endurance feat gives a character +4 to various saving throws such as swimming, running, and forced march.
- The Run feat gives a character five times normal running speed, and a +4 bonus to jumps with running starts.
- Both Endurance and Run were considered among the weakest feats available.
- Succubi like Sabine have a natural Energy Drain attack with their kiss.
- The title refers to a "critical hit" which may occur when a player rolls a 20 on the 20-sided die. In this case Elan scores a critical hit with his obtuse storytelling logic.
Trivia
- Elan previously showed his papers to what is likely the same lizardfolk guard when he left the palace in #754.
- Gannji showed his papers to the same trio of guards, including what may have been the real Dave, in #717.