Eugene tells Roy of an inconvenient truth.
Cast
- Roy Greenhilt (as spirit) ◀ ▶
- Eugene Greenhilt ◀ ▶
- Blue-bearded Sapphire Guardsman (as spirit) ◀
- Eyepatched Sapphire Guardsman (as spirit) ◀
- High Priest of the Twelve Gods (as spirit) ◀
- Teal-haired Sapphire Guardswoman (as spirit) ◀
- Violet ◀
- An Angel
- Three Lantern Archons
- Twenty-two Azure City Soldier's Spirits
Transcript
- Panel 1
Roy: Ok, so if this is an infinite plane, how come you can't seen to leave me alone?
Eugene: Infinite? Good gods, didn't they teach you anything about planar cosmology in that school of yours?
- Panel 2
Cut to an angel and three archons looking down
Eugene (inset): This isn't the actual afterlife here. This is just a coexistant demiplane where the denizens of the Upper Planes come to watch the mortals.
Angel: Can you believe she's carrying Juan's baby?
Archon: But she's marrying his nemesis, Phillippe, tomorrow!
- Panel 3
Cut back to Roy and Eugene.
Eugene: It's also where the souls of recently deceased folks of Good alignment come to be judges before being sent to their true final rest.
Roy: Whoa, hold on a second.
- Panel 4
Roy: Tens of thousands of Good people died in that battle today. How come I don't see any of them here?
Eugene: Because this part of the plane is where worshippers[sic] of the Northern Gods end up, and you were the only Northerner to die in that battle.
- Panel 5
Cut to a long line of Southerners in a rope line elsewhere in the plane. Several members of the Sapphire Guard are in the line as well as the High Priest of the Twelve Gods.
Eugene (inset): Worshippers of the Southern Gods are processed on the other side of the mountain.
High Priest of the Twelve Gods Wait a minute, I had a 22!
- Panel 6
Cut back to Roy and Eugene.
Roy: And that mountain is—
Eugene: Don't you listen? That's the true afterlife for the Lawful Good types. But don't get your hopes up for seeing it.
Roy: What do you mean?
- Panel 7
Eugene: The magic of the Blood Oath of Vengeance that I swore against Xykon keeps my soul from resting in the afterlife until he is defeated—
Eugene: —and now that you're dead it'll do the same for you.
- Panel 8
Roy: What?!? You mean I can't get into the Upper Planes because of this??
Eugene: Yeah, it's a kick in the ass, isn't it?
Eugene: We're doomed to wander this fluffy cloud until Julia gets the job done.
- Panel 9
Roy and Eugene come upon Violet.
Eugene: That's why I've been shaking up with Violet here. (You remember her, right?) Nothing to do but watch the living or hook up with other oathspirits.
Violet: Um, actually, Eugene, if I could have a word?
- Panel 10
Violet: I'm really sorry about the short notice, but it turns out that my great-great-granddaughter finally managed to sunder the cursed sword that devoured my father's soul.
Violet: So, uh, I'm going to join the rest of my family on the mountain now, OK?
- Panel 11
Eugene: Oh, uh, OK. That's cool.
Eugene: If I ever manage to get up there myself, I'll look you up.
Violet: Actually... please don't. I'd rather not have to explain you to my husband. You understand.
- Panel 12
Roy: Oooooo, Eugene Greenhilt, kicked to the celestial curb!
Eugene: This coming from someone who was just forced into a long-distance relationship with their own body.
D&D Context
- The High Priest of the Twelve God's undoing was when he thought he rolled 21 on his Fortitude Saving Throw, and this was insufficient to protect him against Redcloak's Destruction spell. In this strip he is looking at a piece of paper, which may be his Character Sheet, showing all of his game statistics. It would appear that he failed to accurately account for the bonuses to his saving throw and is only realizing now that he should have rolled a 22, which might have been enough to keep him alive.
Trivia
- The title is a reference to the American soap opera As the World Turns airing every weekday on CBS.
- The High Priest of the Twelve Gods was seen previously in Comics #410, "The New Lord in Town", and #456, "Saved Game". The latter is referenced in his appearance here.
- Violet first appeared all the way back in #39, Date with Destiny. This is her only other appearance.
- This is the final appearance of the High Priest of the Twelve Gods (AKA Azurite High Priest). He first appeared in #303.
- This is the final appearance of the Blue-bearded Sapphire Guardsman, Eyepatched Sapphire Guarsman, and the Teal-haired Sapphire Guardswoman, all of whom first appeared in #447, Guarding the Sapphire