oots


Haley and Belkar negotiate with the MitD to try to recover Roy's body and the paralyzed O-Chul.

Cast

Transcript

Panel 1, Page 1

Haley: And is that O-Chul with him? How did he survive the castle?
Belkar: How should I know? Those paladins are like roaches.
Demon-Roach: Hey!

Panel 2, Page 1

Haley: We need to get them both out of there.
Belkar: Cool. I'll attack from the left, you cover me.

Panel 3, Page 1

Haley: Belkar, whoever is under that pink kitty unbrella is having a tea party. They're obviously a child of some sort.
Haley: We're not going to kill a child.
Belkar: Unless we have to?
Haley: What?

Panel 4, Page 1

Belkar: Com on, at least give me a little hope!
Haley: *sigh*
Haley: OK< we're not going to kill a child unless we absolutely have to.
Belkar: Good enough.

Panel 5, Page 1

Haley: Um, excuse me? Hello?
Monster in the Darkness: Wow, more guests? It's the social event of the season!
Haley: No, uh, we're here to pick up our two friends over there.
MitD: You're friends with Flopsy and Mr. Stiffly??
Haley: ...
Haley: Sure.

Panel 6, Page 1

Haley: Anyway, it's getting really late, and they need to go beddy-bye, so we'll just take them—
MitD: Hey, stop! They haven't finished their scones yet!
Haley: They'll eat them on the road.
MitD: No—
Belkar: I'll drag Roy, you grab the paladin.

Panel 7, Page 1

MitD: Stop!
The others vibrate with the force of the Monster's voice.

Panel 8, Page 1

MitD: ...please?
Haley: OK.
Belkar: Stopping now.

Panel 9, Page 1

MitD: You can't take my new friends. We were about to play Monopoly.
Haley (whispering): We don't have that kind of time.
Belkar (whispering): Nobody has that kind of time.

Panel 10, Page 1

Haley: Look, if we take them now... you'll get more scones for yourself, like you said.
MitD: Actually, I had enough scones. I could really go for some stew.
MitD: I like stew.

Panel 1, Page 2

Haley: Well, uh, it just so happens that my friend Belkar here knows how to cook some fantastic stew.
MitD: Really??
Belkar: What??

Panel 2, Page 2

Haley: Oh, absolutely. I'll make you a deal. If Belkar cooks you some delicious stew, will you let us take Roy and O-Chul home?
MitD: Who?
Haley: Uh, I mean, Flopsy and Mr. Stiffly.

Panel 3, Page 2

MitD: Ummmm... well, OK, I guess. But only because I can't help feeling like I've seen you somwhere before...
MitD: And it had better be awfully delicious, because I have very high standards.

Panel 4, Page 2

Flashback to Xykon's lair.
Goblin: Hey, look at this moldy cheeseburger I just found behind my sock drawer.
MitD: Dibs!!

Panel 5, Page 2

Haley: OK, it's a deal!
Belkar: Haley, may I have a word with you?

Panel 6, Page 2

Belkar: That word is, "What the hell are you doing?"
Haley: You told me once that you had skill ranks in Profession (chef), right?
Haley: So you cook some stew quick, we grab ourselves a pair of incapacitated warrior-types and scoot out of here.

Panel 7, Page 2

Belkar: First of all, I told you that in one of the Dragon Magazine comics, so I'm not even sure that's the same continuity.
Belkar: And second of all, I have ranks in Profession (gourmet chef). Does this look like a fully-stocked professional kitchen to you??

Panel 8, Page 2

Haley: So? Improvised tools, it's a -2 penalty to your skill check. I do it all the time with lockpicking.
Belkar: I have 4 ranks and an ability score penalty, every -2 counts!!

Panel 9, Page 2

Belkar: Although... he was eating fat-free scones, so his palate can't be that refined...
Haley: Good, 'cause I'm not fighting that thing, whatever it is, so you better get your little foodie butt in gear and whip up some stew.

Panel 10, Page 2

Haley: And make it snappy, too, we need to get back to the boat ASAP.
Belkar: Fine, I'll do it. But I hope you have an idea where I can get some ingredients, particularly some kind of beef or chicken or—

Panel 11, Page 2

beat

Panel 12, Page 2

Belkar is mid-air with both daggers drawn about to come down on the vulture from the previous comic as it flies through the air.

D&D Context

Trivia

External Links