oots


Haley and Belkar search for Roy's body.

Cast

Transcript

Panel 1

Haley and Belkar walk in the open plain outside the city walls.
Haley: Are we being followed?
Belkar: No. it looks like they’re focusing their efforts on people escaping into the mountains, so they aren’t really looking out here on the plains.

Panel 2

Haley: Good, because Roy’s body should be right over—

Panel 3

They find the spot where Roy it the ground, but the body is not there. A vulture sits on the Greenhilt Sword and Celia's amulet lies nearby.
Haley: *Gasp!*
Belkar: Ah, crap.

Panel 4

Belkar: Are you SURE this is the place you saw him fall, Haley? 
Haley: Yes! His sword is here, plus that amulet. Maybe the vultures ate the body?
Belkar: Yeah, I’m sure these are members of the rare Armor-Eating vulture subspecies.

Panel 5

Haley picks up Celia's amulet.
Haley: Well, he’s got to be within a mile or your Mark would have activated. Can you track whoever took the body?
Belkar: I think so, there are tracks all over the place.

Panel 6

Haley: I bet it was one of the hobgoblin clerics who took it. They were animating undead during the battle, you know.
Haley: What if they turned Roy into a zombie??
Belkar: He’d be more fun at parties?

Panel 7

Haley imagines a hobgoblin cleric animating Roy as various undead.
Haley (inset): Or wait—what if they turned him into another type of undead—
Haley: —like a mummy?
Mummy Roy: Hey, that’s pretty comfortable. What’s the thread count on this?
Hobgoblin Cleric: 600
Mummy Roy: Silky.

Panel 8

Haley (inset): Or a shadow?!?
Shadow Roy: Who knows what stupidity lurks in the hearts of men?

Panel 9

Vampire Roy has killed the hobgoblin cleric in Haley's imagination.
Haley (inset): Or—gasp—a vampire?!?
Vampire Roy: Sorry about that. I just want you to know that I’m horribly conflicted about needing to kill sentient beings to sustain my—
Vampire Roy: Mmmm, what is that smoky flavor in your blood cholesterol? Is that gouda? Damn, that’s tasty.

Panel 10

Haley: Just think of all the d10’s he’d need to buy…
Belkar: Yeah, I don’t think so. These tracks are… weird. They’re definitely NOT hobgoblin footprints, and they’re not Undead Roy’s, either. I don’t know what made them.

Panel 11

Haley: Wait, look! I think we have our answer, sort of. 
Belkar: Oh, man. That’s just wrong. That poor, poor bastard.

Panel 12

The Monster in the Darkness has added Roy's corpse to his tea party with O-Chul and Mr. Dragon.
Monster in the Darkness: Would either of you gentlemen care for another scone? They’re fat-free.
MitD: …
MitD: No? OK, more for me!

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