Pompey joins the Linear Guild.
Cast
Transcript
- Panel 1
Nale: My patience is wearing thin. That's 40 candidates you've showed me, and they've all sucked.
Warthog: I think you'll really like this next one. We call him...
Warthog: The One Who Must Not Be Named.
- Panel 2
Nale: Another one? Good gods, man, that's eleven so far who Must Not Be Named.
- Panel 3
Nale: Not to mention the four who Must Not Be Looked At, the two who Must Not Be Spoken To, and the one who Must Not Be Toilet-Trained.
Thog: thog got to use a mop!
- Panel 4
Nale: If you bring me one more brat who's too trendy to have a name, I'll feed you your own tusks.
Nale: And that includes any "Wizard Formerly Known As" losers, too.
Warthog: Of course.
- Panel 5
Warthog: This is one of my best students, his name is Pompey.
Nale: Well, it's a dumb name, but at least it's a name. Give me the hard sell, kid.
- Panel 6
Pompey: I'm a wizard specialist in Conjuration. I chose as my barred schools Evocation and Enchantment.
Nale: Good, I'm pretty sure the elf uses both of those.
- Panel 7
Pompey: Did you say "elf"? I hate elves! Stupid oppressive kinsmen, they should all die painfully!
Nale: Ugh, "kinsmen"? Please tell me you're not some new evil elf subrace...
- Panel 8
Pompey: No, no, not an evil elf...
- Panel 9
Pompey lowers his cowl, revealing his ears.
Pompey: I'm an evil half-elf!
- Panel 10
Nale: Interesting. Guild huddle, guys.
- Panel 11
The three Linear Guild members huddle up.
Nale (whispering): I don't know. It's kind of weak, but I guess it qualifies as an Evil Opposite.
Sabine (whispering): The color scheme is certainly appropriate.
Thog (whispering): huddles are fun.
- Panel 12
Nale: OK, kid, you're in. Welcome to the Linear Guild.
Nale: I'm your boss, Nale. The green idiot is Thog, and the chick is Sabine.
Sabine: Hi!
- Panel 13
Pompey takes Sabine's hand.
Pompey: Well, hello there, gorgeous. I think I might just be the man for you.
Nale: Hey! A clearly-established gender identity! He is an Evil Opposite!
Nale: Now get away from my woman, Ear Boy.
D&D Context
- Wizards can specialize in one of the schools of magic to gain extra spells per day, however if they do they must exclude two other schools from their spellbooks entirely.
- Elves have numerous subraces, including the evil Drow, such as Pompey's predecessor, Zz'dtri.
- Most races cannot breed with other races. Humans can though, leading to races like the half-elf and the half-orc. In a play on the idea, Pompey is shown to be a literal half-elf, with one human ear and one elf ear (as opposed to the slightly pointed ears that most half-elves have).
Trivia
- This is the first appearance of Pompey.
- This is the final appearance of Warthog, who first appeared in the previous strip.
- From 1993 to 2000, stemming from a contract dispute with his record label, Prince changed his name to a symbol he invented. This led to him being referred to in print media as "The Artist Formerly Known as Prince".
- The previous strip was a send-up of Harry Potter, in which the villain, Voldemort, is referred to has "he who must not be named".
- The title is a play on the trademarked ad slogan for Wrigley's Doublemint gum, "Double Your Pleasure, Double Your Fun". This is the second strip to have a title which is a play on this slogan.