The Linear Guild goes to recruit a new wizard.
Cast
Transcript
- Panel 1
Warthog: Yes sir, I think you'll definitely find someone to fill your vacant position here at the Warthog's School of Wizardry and Sorcery.
Nale: You have a program for sorcerers? Strange.
Warthog: It's an Associate's Degree.
Nale: Ah.
- Panel 2
Warthog: Let me introduce you to our star pupil, the famous Larry Gardener.
Larry: Hullo, guvner!
- Panel 3
Nale: OK, Larry, why don't you tell us a little about yourself.
Larry: Well, let's see...
- Panel 4
Larry: I'm a precocious youth who manages to regularly trounce wizards with far more skill, experience, and emotional maturity than myself.
Nale: That sounds promising...
- Panel 5
Larry: I have only token respect for the rules, which is OK because all of my so-called authority figures regularly bend, break, or simply forget about the laws in order to accommodate my latest adventure.
Nale: Uh, OK...
- Panel 6
Larry: Which is good, because whatever odd occurance or random event is happening in the area, it always directly relates to me and my past. Always.
- Panel 7
Nale: Yeah, I think we're going to have to pass, Larry. Thanks for coming down.
Larry: What? But I'm the best! Everything always goes my way!
- Panel 8
Nale: It's just not that simple. You see, kid, when it comes to being tagonists, we're more "an" while you're pretty clearly "pro". We're just not interested.
- Panel 9
Larry: Then you're villains? Practitioners of the Dark Arts? I will stop you with my badly mangled Latin and questionable logic!
Nale: We don't have time for this. Thog?
- Panel 10
Larry: Stoppus Badguyus!
Thog: little man talk funny.
Thog smites Larry with his greataxe.
- Panel 11
Larry lays dead on the floor.
Nale: Sorry about the mess.
Warthog: Don't be, I've been wanting to do that for six books. Years, I mean six years.
D&D Context
- In D&D Sorcerers have innate magical ability, and don't need to actually study it (as opposed to wizards). Warthog dryly notes that it's an Associates degree; an Associate's Degree is usually a two year degree as opposed to a Bachelor's Degree, which is usually a four year program.
Trivia
- This comic contains obvious references to Harry Potter:
- Warthog's is an anagram of Hogwarts.
- Larry Gardener is a straight Harry Potter parody.
- The comic's title uses the same structure as the titles of all the Harry Potter books.
- Warthog's last line is a freudian slip referencing the series of books.
- This is the only appearance of Larry Gardner, and the first appearance of Warthog.