Haley is stricken with aphasia.
Cast
Transcript
- Panel 1
It is now daytime. Elan still stands with Haley who is still staring at the single gold piece.
Durkon: So, uh... we're just aboot ready ta leave, guys. V an' I just prepared our spells.
Elan: Yeah, OK.
- Panel 2
Elan: Durkon, I'm worried about Haley. She hasn't budged in hours, and if nothing else, I would think she'd have had to go potty by now.
Elan: Can you check her out?
- Panel 3
Durkon examines Haley.
Durkon: Well, she not be paralyzed or held or nuthin'. She seems to be in perfect health, except for some fire damage.
- Panel 4
Haley: Mnbrvcnp!
Durkon: Gah!!
- Panel 5
Haley: Wiup! Rdd is fm, wiup!! F tru'm epdfpjp fm'v rdd wiup!
Elan: Haley, I know you have more Bonus Languages than I do, but now's not the time to show them off.
Haley: F wim prmpu eh r ynrwiu sin mqrm snprzfu' mnbrvcnp!
- Panel 6
Haley: F wim jiafmpy ck! Eh r yfvwcvmfuw rtfy-enprmqfuw ynrwiu! Ruy uix fm'v WIUP!
Durkon: Elan, hold on a moment.
Durkon: Comprehend Languages!
- Panel 7
Durkon: Och, lad, she not be speakin' any language. I cannae understand a word, even wit' tha magic o' Thor. I think she be havin' some kind o' breakdown aboot tha loot.
Haley: Uim MQP diim, AH diim. Afup!
- Panel 8
Elan: I don't understand. Is she gonna be OK?
Durkon: Well, lad, the brain be a funny thing.
Durkon: Sometimes, it just stops workin' right when ye've been through a bad scene.
Haley: Xrfm, xqh yi F vicuy scuuh? Qpddi? Qpddi?
- Panel 9
Belkar: Wait, wait, so she can't speak at all? Even if she wants to?
Belkar: Hey Haley, if you don't want me to tell Elan how you really feel, just say so.
- Panel 10
Haley: Xqrm? Ui! Yiu'm hic yrnp!
Belkar: Well, OK, since you didn't say anything... Elan, Haley is actually in—
- Panel 11
Haley kicks Belkar in the face.
Haley: Vuprz rmmrtz eiim mi mqp srtp!
Belkar: Ooof!
- Panel 12
Belkar: Objection noted.
Haley: Yrnu vmnrfwqm.
Durkon: It's just like me granpappy always said: A kick be worth a thousand words.
Elan: I'm so confused.
D&D Context
- Characters with good Intelligence scores can speak some extra languages.
- Comprehend Languages is a 1st-level Cleric spell that allows a character to understand all languages, but not speak or write them.
- Sneak Attack is a Rogue ability that allows the Rogue to deal additional damage with physical attacks under some circumstances.
Trivia
- The translation of Haley's lines is:
- Panel 4: Treasure!
- Panel 5: Gone! All of it, gone!! I can't believe it's all gone! I got eaten by a dragon for that freakin' treasure!
- Panel 6: I got vomited up! By a disgusting acid-breathing dragon! And now it's GONE!
- Panel 7: Not THE loot, MY loot. Mine!
- Panel 8: Wait, why do I sound funny? Hello? Hello?
- Panel 10: What? No! Don't you dare!
- Panel 11: Sneak attack boot to the face!
- Panel 12: Damn straight.
- The cryptogram used is what's known as a substitution cipher, a historically weak encryption that was superseded by the Vigenère cipher and again by modern cryptography.
- Both 'p' and 'b' in the substitution cipher correspond to a decoded 'e', which can give the impression that one is a mistake.
- The title is a variation on the expression "It's just a phase she's going through", which refers to the rebelliousness engendered by puberty, typically attributed to the increase in hormonal production. The other source of the pun is 'aphasia', the general term for acquired language disorders such as can be caused by brain damage or stroke.
- Roy and Vaarsuvius have previously indicated that they knew of Haley's feelings for Elan, but this is the first time Belkar lets on that he knows too.
- This was during Hollywood's peculiar obsession with "aphasia," including ailments that were not actual aphasia. "Aphasia" showed up in program after program. Like other fads, it disappeared after a few years.