oots


Haley and Elan finally face a moment of truth.

Cast

Transcript

Panel 1, Page 1

Sabine: Nale, you worthless mortal scum!
Nale: Geez, you know, how come these plans can never unravel only a little bit at a time?
Haley: MFGL?? P opvvlu Mfgl? Sry!!
Nale: Just for a change of pace?
Thog: thog and nale reunion make thog so happy!
Elan: It's over, Nale!

Panel 2, Page 1

Nale: OK, OK, now everyone just hold on. If Elan and I are going to have our final climactic confrontation now, we've got to clear the room a little.

Panel 3, Page 1

Nale: Hey Thog, you know, Sabine really missed you while you were gone.
Sabine (off-panel): Nale, I'm gonna rip out your—
Thog: really?
Nale: Aww, she just needs a hug!

Panel 4, Page 1

Thog: thog miss sabine, too!
Sabine: What the—? Get away!

Panel 5, Page 1

Thog (off-panel): bull rush tackle hug!
A "CRASH!" comes from off-panel.
Sabine (off-panel): Oooof!
Nale: There, that ought to keep them out of our hair while we finish this once and for all.

Panel 6, Page 1

Elan stabs Nale in the chest.
Elan: Looks like you brought a dagger to a swordfight, Nale.
Elan: Which I'm sure Sabine has said to you in the bedroom more than once. Elan stabs Nale
Nale: Uch!

Panel 7, Page 1

Nale: We're identical twins, you moron. You just insulted yourself.
Elan: Identical? Really? 'Cause you seem to have a few more holes in you right now.
Elan stabs Nale in the arm, while Nale misses Elan.
Nale: Rrrg!

Panel 8, Page 1

Nale: When the hell did you become reasonably competent in a fight?
Elan: When I needed to save a poor girl who can't speak right from a bastard like you!
Elan parries Nale.

Panel 9, Page 1

Nale: Geez, again! We're TWINS, you idiot, we have the same parents! If I'm a bastard, then that means that you're one—

Panel 10, Page 1

Nale: Wait... "can't speak right"?
Elan: You know, I learned a lot of useful skills in prison, Nale. Like how to cook...
Nale: So that wasn't an obscure language she was speaking...

Panel 11, Page 1

Elan: You might be familiar with our special family recipe for shish kebabs!
Elan perforates Nale in the chest and disarms him, "shtulk!"
Nale: GAAHHH!

Panel 1, Page 2

Nale: Charm—
Elan: Served with a tall glass of punch!
Elan punches Nale, "pow!"
Nale: Guh!
'Nale's looses concentration on his spell, "fizzle!"

Panel 2, Page 2

Elan: And extra peppers to kick it up a notch!
Elan kicks Nale, "whumf!"
Elan: BAM!
Haley: Keeeeee! Opno ypv fvv, Euugd Lcclnwpql Lgfm!

Panel 3, Page 2

Elan: As I said, it's over, Nale. You're beaten. Give up.
Nale: Oh, I still have one more deception up my sleeve...

Panel 4, Page 2

Nale: Now, Haley! Sneak attack from behind!
Elan: Huh!
Haley: Ysy?

Panel 5, Page 2

Nale: Oh my, you really haven't realized it yet. I would have thought bursting in on the two of us "in flagrante delicto," as it were, would have made it clear.
Elan: Made what clear??

Panel 6, Page 2

Nale: Don't you see, Elan? Your precious Haley is evil, just like me. She's been working for me all along.
Nale: She's been my spy, infiltrating the Order of the Stick since before you and I even met face-to-face.

Panel 7, Page 2

Nale: I learned of you from our father, and Haley and I orchestrated events to destroy you on every possible level.
Elan: That's silly. You can't really expect me to believe something so—

Panel 8, Page 2

Nale: "Needlessly complicated?"
Elan: Oh. Right.

Panel 9, Page 2

Haley: Des'ql rew we il obuupmr al. Lgfm, des'xl mew isdpmr wypv, fxl des???
Nale: No, darling, no point in hiding our relationship now.
Elan: You can understand her?
Nale: Of course! That's Infernal she's been speaking—the language of the devils.

Panel 10, Page 2

Nale: Naturally, we've been lovers for years. That kill was merely our evil celebration of your demise.
Elan: I...I don't believe you. You're lying!
Haley: Ufam vwxfpryw, yl'v gdpmr!
Nale: Come now, the signs are obvious.

Panel 11, Page 2

Nale: She can't control her wicked lust for wealth, can she?
Nale: And that dress! Is that really the dress of someone who's NOT an evil temptress?
Haley: Yl iesryw al wypv uxlvv! Neal em, kesgu FMD keafm NYEEVL we klfx wypv wypmr?

Panel 12, Page 2

Nale: She let you rot in prison. Shouldn't she have known? Wasn't she the smart one in the party?
Haley: Me! P'a mew! P'a vwsjpu! P'a ve vwsjpu!!

Panel 1, Page 3

Nale: Face it, Brother. This tramp has been playing you for months, you gullible sap.
Elan: Haley... This... isn't true, right? He's just making it up?
Haley: Ec nesxvl mew! Wypv pv fivsxu! P'a Nyfewpn Reeu!
Haley: Pvy!

Panel 2, Page 3

Nale: Well, I guess you have your answer there on her face.
Nale: She does not look happy that I'm blowing her cover.
Haley: Kyd fxl des gpvwlmpnr we ypa?? Yl'v wyl QPGGFPM!
Haley's Self-Loathing hovers behind her.
Self-Loathing: He's listening to Nale because you don't have the ability to raise any o[b]jection, you pathetic sack of crap.
Self-Loathing: Should have listened to me when you had the chance.

Panel 3, Page 3

Nale: And you, dressed up like a little hero to save the day. Too bad your princess here has been laughing at you behind your back all along.
Elan: Laughing...?
Nale: Oh yes, Laughing at you, not with you.
Self-Loathing: Look at him, using that Bluff skill to turn Elan against us.
Haley: Me, P yfqlm'w!
Self-Loathing: Hey, don't you have ranks in Bluff? It's been so long, I barely remember.

Panel 4, Page 3

Nale: The switch was Haley's idea, you know. She told me she couldn't stand to be near your incessant idiocy for one more day.
Haley cries.
Haley: Des yfql we ilgplql al! Yl'v gdpmr!!
Self-Loathing: Well, looks like this is it. The end. The curtain falls on your schoolgirl delusions of romance. Any hope of him loving you is shriveling up as we speak.
Self-Loathing: Well, as I speak, at least.

Panel 5, Page 3

Nale: Doesn't that just make you so... angry?
Nale: (Suggestion.)
 Elan: Actually, yeah! It does! I went through all this to save you, and you were a bad guy the whole time!
Haley: Kyfw?? Me! ME!!
Self-Loathing: Yup, listen to that. He's buying it. He thinks you're evil now.
Self-Loathing: Told.
Self-Loathing: You.
Self-Loathing: So.

Panel 6, Page 3

No balloons have arrows anymore, probably to indicate Haley is mentally collapsing.
(Self-Loathing's dialogue is still translucent and Haley's dialog cryptic, so its not hard to attribute)
Nale: Very, very angry...
Elan: You're worse than Nale is!
Self-Loathing: He'll never forgive you.
Haley: P nfm'w...
Self-Loathing: He'll learn to hate you.
Haley: ...wypmo...

Panel 7, Page 3

Still the balloons have no arrows.
Elan: I never want to see you—
Haley: P nfm'w gevl ypa...
Self-Loathing: And then he'll leave.
Haley: P—P wyesryw...
Self-Loathing: Just like everyone else—
Nale: Angry enough to kill, even...
Haley: P wyesryw—

Panel 8, Page 3

Haley: I THOUGHT HE WAS YOU!
Elan snaps out of the suggestion, "snap!"
Haley: I'M IN LOVE WITH YOU AND I THOUGHT I WAS KISSING YOU!!

Panel 9, Page 3

Elan stares at Haley.
Haley holds her hands before her mouth, shocked by her own words.

D&D Context

Trivia

External Links