oots


The Oracle's contingency plan comes into effect, and Roy discovers that the Oracle can see and hear him.

Cast

Transcript

Panel 1

Roy: Goddamn it, this is such a waste.
Roy: I swear, when I get physical hands back, I am going to take that little runt and—

Panel 2

Two Trogolodytes teleport in with a "POP!"
Roy: What the—?
Troglodyte Wizard: -port!

Panel 3

Troglodyte Cleric: My word, we've arrived not a moment too soon, I see.
Troglodyte Wizard: Quite! Shall we get on with the work at hand, Brother?
Troglodyte Cleric: Indeed.

Panel 4

Troglodyte Cleric: Raise Dead!
Oracle: *gasp!*
Roy: Hey! Over here! Pick me!

Panel 5

Oracle: Oh, man! That one stung a bit.
Oracle: I think he dulls his daggers, so they hurt more going in.
Troglodyte Cleric: Welcome back, sir.
Oracle: Good to be back, guys.

Panel 6

Oracle: Sorry about the mess, I should have remembered to tell you to wear galoshes...
Troglodyte Wizard: Are we still scheduled to raise you again on March 26, 1187?
Oracle: Yup, 3:10 pm.

Panel 7

Oracle: And be ready for a Resurrection spell next time... it's gonna be this big druid guy who's gonna chew me up into tiny pieces when I tell him him yes, his wife is cheating on him, and the other man is his animal companion.
Oracle: Turns out that giving enhanced intelligence to a critter who is literally hung like a bear doesn't always work out the way you'd expect.

Panel 8

Troglodyte Cleric: And with that, we must retire.
Troglodyte Cleric: Good day!
Oracle: Say hello to your boss for me!
Troglodyte Wizard: We shall. Tele—
Roy: Stupid minor NPC can get raised and I can't...

Panel 9

The two troglodytes teleport away with a "POP!"
Oracle: Well, looks like I better start getting that Expert level back.
Oracle: XP don't earn itself, my mama always said.

Panel 10

The Oracle turns and talks directly to Roy.
Oracle: —who may have been a bit portly as a result of a glandular condition, but at least she didn't whore up the whole afterlife when she died.
Roy: Hey, my mother—

Panel 11

beat

Panel 12

Roy: YOU CAN HEAR ME??
Oracle: Yes, so you don't have to yell. Geez.

D&D Context

Trivia

External Links