oots


Elan accommodates the orcs by providing them a new god.

Cast

Transcript

Panel 1

Elan: The shoreline! See, I told you she would lead us to safety.
Lien: Thank the Twelve Gods! I was beginning to think the people who built that tunnel had absolutely no idea where it was going.
Durkon: Water Walk!
Daigo: You had Water Walk prepared?
Durkon: I live onna boat an' wear heavy armor.
Daigo: Good point.

Panel 2

Elan stops a couple of meters offshore
Elan: Ha ha! We got way with Banjo! Nyah nyah!
vurkle: orcs not have god.
grukgruk: it ok, shaman vurkle. chief grukgruk sure we find something else to worship.

Panel 3

vurkle: *sigh*
vurkle: shaman vurkle go back to worshipping vague land spirit, shaman vurkle guess. not as satisfying.
Elan: Aww, man. Now I feel bad for him.
grukgruk: there, there.

Panel 4

Elan and Durkon walk back towards the shore.
Elan: Hey, you know, you could always just become followers of a different god.
Durkon: Aye. Instead o' worshippin' a bull or a clown, ye could put yer faith inna REAL deity, like Thor.
vurkle: really?

Panel 5

Durkon: Ye'd haf ta atone fer any evil deeds ye did first, but then wit faith an' devotion ye could—
Elan: Or, you could just start worshipping—
Elan reaches behind his back.

Panel 6

The panel flashes purple as he produces another puppet, similar to Banjo but with a red and yellow color scheme and a big stick.
Elan: GIGGLES the clown, god of slapstick!

Panel 7

Elan: He's just like Banjo, except instead of playing music, he hits people with a stick.
vurkle: oooo, hitting people more our thing anyway.
grukgruk: OK, orcs worship giggles now.

Panel 8

Durkon: WHA?!? But tha be just another puppet! Wha aboot Thor?
vurkle: atoning for misdeeds sound like it involve lot of talking.
grukgruk: giggles is god of action!

Panel 9

vurkle: no like banjo now. stupid banjo and dumb banjo-worshippers get off orc island.
Elan: Don't be mean to Banjo! He can still smite Giggles with his magic banjo!

Panel 10

The puppets fight.
vurkle: giggles blocks!
Elan: Nuh uh! No force can block Banjo's holy weapon!
vurkle: no force—but enchanted thwacking-stick of banjo's brother giggles!
Elan: Ooooo! That's neat! OK, so they're brothers, but they're rvials[sic] too. Cool!

Panel 11

Hinjo and Daigo hold back Durkon, who shakes with anger and frustration.
Durkon: But...but thar na real gods! Thar puppets! Cannae ye see tha thar just puppets?!?
Elan: The only way to settle this dispute between two gods is with a pie-eating contest!!
vurkle and grukgruk: hooray!
Durkon: PUPPETS CANNAE EVEN EAT PIE!!!

D&D Context

Trivia

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