oots


The hobgoblins activate anti-insurgency tactics.

Cast

Transcript

Panel 1

Haley: OK, people, let’s do this like we’ve been training: In, out, and gone before anyone’s the wiser.

Panel 2

Haley: Niu, you and Isamu round up the prisoners and get them moving toward the tunnels.
Niu: Yes, Haley.
Haley: And I want all of you carrying as much food as you can—we need supplies badly, especially if we’re ganna have more mouths to feed.

Panel 3

Haley: Thanh, can you handle the granary guards by yourself?
Thanh: The anguished souls of a thousand unjustly slain Azurites will guide each swing of my blade.
Haley: I’ll take that as a “Yes”. Go, I’ll take out the browncloak.

Panel 4

Haley approaches three hobgoblin soldiers.
Haley: Good morning, gentlemen.
Haley: At least, I think it’s morning. Sort of tough to tell these days, what with the giant swirling rift that blocks out the sun.

Panel 5

Haley: Anyway, I’ve got good news and bad news.
Haley: The bad news is, I won initiative, so you guys get a sneak attack each.
Haley fires three green-fletched arrows, "fft! fft! fft!"

Panel 6

All three soldiers lie dead on the ground.
Haley: The good news is, I don’t have to bother thinking up the second half to that joke, ‘cause you’re all dead now.

Panel 7

Haley approaches the hobgoblin spellcaster.
Haley: Looks like it’s just you and me now, wizard. Hit me with your—
Hobgoblin Granary Browncloak: DANCING LIGHTS!

Panel 8

Haley: …“Dancing Lights”? That’s like a 0th-level spell! Geez, what kind of low-level lame-ass spellcaster are you?
Haley: You’ve got one chance before I perforate you, and you choose…

Panel 9

Haley: …Dancing…
Haley: …Lights.
The browncloak holds up a finger.

Panel 10

Beat. Haley looks up.

Panel 11

Cut to a scene of the Gobbotopia walls, Xykon's tower in the background. Hanging in the air above the city are four red balls of light from the browncloak's spell. A graffito on the wall reads, "DEATH".
Tower Five: Main Tower, we’re seeing a red diamond signal in sector 18, near the granary.
Main Tower: Copy that, Tower 5, we see it too.

Panel 12

Cut back to Haley and the browncloak.
Browncloak: OK, so I’ve got bad news, and I’ve got bad news.

D&D Context

Trivia

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