As Haley and Belkar infiltrate behind enemy lines, they find that Belkar's latest weapon is more of a liability.
Cast
- Haley Starshine ◀ ▶
- Belkar Bitterleaf ◀ ▶
- Eye of Fear and Flame (as Skullsy) ◀
- Three Hobgoblin Swordsmen
Transcript
- Panel 1, Page 1
Hobgoblin Swordsman #1: —look, I'm just saying, after, what, eight seasons? I think we deserved a more definitive ending.
Hobgoblin Swordsman #2: That's because you don't get the point which is—
Hobgoblin Swordsman #3: Will you two shut up about that already?
- Panel 2, Page 1
Haley (whispering): We need to get rid of those guards without raising the alarm...
Belkar (whispering): Leave it to me, I'll use the skull.
- Panel 3, Page 1
Haley (whispering): Belkar, everyone will see a Fireball!
Belkar (whispering): Relax, like all great appliances, it has more than one speed.
- Panel 4, Page 1
Belkar (whispering): Check it out: Fear beam, Skullsy.
Eye of Fear and Flame: Yes, sir.
Skullsy shoots out a black cone of fear.
Hobgoblin Swordsman #1: I'm afraid I left the oven on!
Hobgoblin Swordsman #2: I'm afraid of losing my individuality!
Hobgoblin Swordsman #3: I'm afraid of fear itself!
- Panel 5, Page 1
All three hobgoblins: Ahhhhhh!!!
They flee.
- Panel 6, Page 1
Haley: Hey, not bad. That skull is useful.
Belkar: I know, it's like having a wand that I can activate with Intimidate.
Haley: It's a shame you'll have to give it up eventually.
- Panel 7, Page 1
Belkar: What are you talking about? Skullsy is here to stay!
Belkar: And forget just the magic beams, I can think of dozens of uses for him:
Belkar: Alarm system, bottle opener, stool, can crusher, nutcracker, paperweight, bowling ball...
Eye of Fear and Flame: ...
- Panel 8, Page 1
Belkar: ...emergency chamber pot...
Eye of Fear and Flame: ...
Eye of Fear and Flame: OK, that's it. That's the last straw.
- Panel 9, Page 1
Eye of Fear and Flame: HEY! HOBGOBLIN GUYS!
- Panel 10, Page 1
Haley: Shhhhh!
Eye of Fear and Flame: THIS HUMAN AND THIS HALFLING ARE TRYING TO SNEAK OUT OF THE CITY!
Belkar: What are you doing?!?
- Panel 11, Page 1
Belkar: HEY! Shut the hell up, you third-rate Yorick knock-off!
Eye of Fear and Flame: Yeah, it turns out there WAS something I was more afraid of than being destroyed.
Eye of Fear and Flame: So I literally don't have to take your crap.
Eye of Fear and Flame: FIREBALL!
- Panel 1, Page 2
The Eye of Fear and Flame roasts Belkar and Haley with a Fireball from his eye gem.
- Panel 2, Page 2
Haley: Belkar, you took no damage!
Belkar: Huh. When did I learn Evasion?
Eye of Fear and Flame: ESCAPING HEROES IN AISLE FIVE!
Eye of Fear and Flame: COME ON, GOBLINS! GET OVER HERE AND KILL THEM!
- Panel 3, Page 2
Eye of Fear and Flame: HELLO? ANYONE?
Haley: Give me that!
Belkar: Hey!
- Panel 4, Page 2
Haley breaks the scull on a nearby boulder, "SHATTER!", leaving bone shards and the eye gems.
- Panel 5, Page 2
Hobgoblin Swordsman #1: Did you hear that voice?
Hobgoblin Swordsman #2: Yeah, it sort of sounded like Xykon.
Hobgoblin Swordsman #3: Guys, someone set off a Fireball over here!
- Panel 6, Page 2
Haley: Damn it! They're coming this way!
Belkar: Why would you betray me, Skullsy? I gave you everything: a home, a sense of purpose, the ability to fit in the overhead compartment of airplanes...
- Panel 7, Page 2
Haley: Belkar, we've got to go! Forget about the stupid skull!
Belkar: Easy for you to say, you probably have a dozen sentient beings that you can take a dump in!
Belkar: I don't get anything nice!
- Panel 8, Page 2
Haley: Come on!
Belkar: Nah, screw it. Sneaking around was getting boring anyway.
- Panel 9, Page 2
Belkar: I say, let 'em come. I've killed their kind before, I can do it again.
Belkar: I don't even care about any stupid curse, I'll find a way. Maybe I'll strangle them with their own intestines, it will count as a suicide.
- Panel 10, Page 2
Hobgoblin Swordsman #1 (off-panel): There they are!
Hobgoblin Swordsman #2 (off-panel): Looks like we handed out the t-shirts too early!
Belkar: Do you hear that Orangina? Your ass is mine! I'm gonna—
- Panel 11, Page 2
Haley picks up Belkar and runs, "yoink!"
- Panel 12, Page 2
The hobgoblins chase Haley and Belkar.
Belkar: Oh, man... getting chased by goblins! This brings back some memories, eh?
Haley: Oh, yeah, good times all around.
D&D Context
- The Intimidate skill allows a character to change another's behavior through fear and threats.
- Evasion is a special ability that allows a character to leap or twist out of the way of an attack, taking no damage when making a Reflex save which would otherwise result in half damage without the Evasion ability. It is usually associated with Rogues and Monks, who gain the ability at 2nd level. Rangers, such as Belkar, learn evasion at 9th level, which is why he only recently acquired the ability.
Trivia
- This is the final appearance of the Eye of Fear and Flame, and the last of the Xykon Decoys to be destroyed. It first appeared in #422.
- The hobgoblins in the first panel are likely discussing the series finale of The Sopranos, which aired two weeks before the release of this strip, despite there being only 6 seasons of the show (the 6th season was nearly twice as long as previous seasons).
- The third hobbo references FDR's first inaugural address.
- Belkar references William Shakespeare's Hamlet, act V, scene i, the famous gravedigger scene, in which one gravedigger unearths the skull of Hamlet's childhood jester, Yorick, remarking on his mortality, "Alas, poor Yorick! I knew him, Horatio; a fellow of infinite jest...". The skull is common prop used for production of Hamlet.
- The t-shirt comment by the hobgoblin in Panel 10, Page 2 is a reference to the final panel in #459.
- Running from goblins is an old gag for the OotS, such as #90