oots


The Azurites defend the walls against hobgoblin scaling ladders.

Cast

Transcript

Panel 1

Azurite archers shoot down on the attackers as scaling ladders are swayed up to the wall. A cook holds a rope tied to a great cauldron.

Panel 2

Azurite soldier: Here they come!
Soldier: Dump the oil!
The cook dumps the oil from the cauldron with a "blorblorblorp!"

Panel 3

Soldier: Wait—was that oil hot?
Cook: No. Was it supposed to be?

Panel 4

Soldier: Why would you pour room-temperature oil down on our attackers?
Cook: Are you kidding? That was coconut oil!
Soldier: So?

Panel 5

Hobgoblin soldier #1: Coconut oil???
Hobgoblin soldier #2: Oh man, that stuff is like 90% saturated fat!
Hobgoblin soldier #3: By my doctor has me on a low cholesterol diet!
Hobgoblin soldier #4: And heart disease runs in my family!

Panel 6

The hobgoblins flee.

Panel 7

Elan: I can't believe that worked.
Hinjo: They'll be back once their leaders remind them that a diet high in soluble fiber—such as oatmeal—can reduce their cholesterol.

Panel 8

Hinjo: That's why we need to get over there and reinforce them.
Hinjo: Elan, Belkar, and...guy I let out of prison to fight. You're with me.

Panel 9

Hinjo: Argent, I choose you!
Hinjo tosses a Pokeball.

Panel 10

Argent pops into existence with an audible "chu!"

Panel 11

Hinjo rides off on Argent, leaving Belkar dumbstruck.

Panel 12

Belkar: So HE gets to unleash the fury, and I get a friggn' wiener dog???
Grand Larceny Prisoner: Dude, there's no justice in the world.

D&D Context

Trivia

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