oots


The Oracle explains his business model.

Cast

Transcript

Panel 1

Oracle dons his normal clothing.
Roy: Back off, Belkar. As long as he keeps his end of the bargain, we won't be asking for more questions.
Belkar: Great! Why does everyone else get to dangle kobolds out of windows and I don't ??

Panel 2

Roy: Of course if he decides to be a wiseass with one of his answers, like he was before...
Oracle: Hey, "In his throne room," was a perfectly legitimate answer to the question, "Where is Xykon?"

Panel 3

Haley: R fjwhh qdwow'h mx axrmq rm vw bhzrmf b ejwhqrxm.
Oracle: Of course there's a point to you asking a question.

Panel 4

Haley: Pxj ibm jmuwohqbmu vw??
Oracle: No, I can't understand you, but I can look forward into the future to the point where this particular strip is compiled into a book and just read the translation.

Panel 5

Haley: Djd?
Oracle: Now let's talk payment. I don't do this for free, you know, I've still got to eat.
Belkar: Have you ever considered eating your own lungs? I can show you how to prepare them if you'd like.

Panel 6

Durkon: Ye know, ye could just use yer powers o'precognition to make yerself a fortune.
Oracle: I'm pretty sure that's exactly what I am doing.

Panel 7

Oracle: I get paid a bundle to sit here all day with all of the answers and watch as groups of clueless rubes stumble to figure out what are the right questions to ask me to fix their pathetic little lives.
Oracle: I'm like a reptilian Alex Trebek.

Panel 8

Oracle: Now c'mon, I haven't got all day, and the two of you are running late for a pair of family reunions. So how are you paying?

Panel 9

The sign on the wall reads:

We accept:
* Cash (no electrum)
* Immortal souls
* Magic beans
* Your voice
Absolutely NO personal
checks or credit cards!


Panel 10

Roy: No checks? But you can see the future, wouldn't you know in advance whether or not our checks were any good?
Oracle: Yes, which is exactly why I'm not accepting them. I've seen your futures, I'll take guaranteed payment up front, thanks.

Panel 11

Roy: So you're saying what, that we rolled a 1 on our Credit Check?
Elan: Couldn't we just take 10?
Oracle: No, dealing with credit agencies always counts as being "threatened".

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