Hilgya recounts how she returned to the Dwarven Lands with her baby to ruin her clan and divorce her husband.
Cast
- Elan ◀ ▶
- Hilgya Firehelm ◀ ▶
- Kudzu ◀ ▶
- Ivan ◀
- Hilgya's Brother ◀
- Hilgya's Eldest Brother
- Dessert Rider
- Jiggly Picasso
- Seven Dwarves
- A Member of Clan Firehelm
- A Race Caller
- A Gelatinous Cube
Transcript
- Panel 1
Hilgya: And really, I have your people to thank for my understanding of Loki.
Elan: Puppeteers?
Hilgya: Humans.
Elan: Oh, that was going to be my fourth guess.
- Panel 2
Hilgya: Obviously I learned about Loki and the rest of the Northern gods in school, but I didn't really grasp his wisdom until I spent time with humans.
Hilgya: See, I ran away from dwarven lands when my family forced me to...well, it's a long story.
- Panel 3
Elan: If it would help, we can just skip any background exposition you've already delivered once.
Hilgya: Oh, yeah, that would be a real timesaver. Thanks!
- Panel 4
Hilgya: After Durkon and I...
Hilgya: After the dungeon, I returned home. As much as I like humans, I missed having stone over my head.
Hilgya: That's when I realized that my husband Ivan had never really been the problem.
- Panel 5
Flashback to Hilgya returning home to Ivan.
Hilgya (inset): I'd lashed out at him as a girl, but he had also been trapped in that marriage by his highborn clan.
Ivan: You're back! You were in the bathroom a really long time.
Hilgya (inset): Trapped by honor and tradition and possibly an undiagnosed brain injury, rather than by crossbows and padlocks like I was, but still.
- Panel 6
Hilgya: I also knew that with a child on the way, I knew it was time for me to settle things with my family once and for all.
Hilgya: Luckily, my eldest brother has always had a weakness for the races.
- Panel 7
Flashback to gelatinous cube races, "WIGGLE WIGGLE WIGGLE WIGGLE WIGGLE WIGGLE WIGGLE". Hilgya's family is arguing, while Hilgya makes off with her winnings in the background; she has a noticeable bump in her belly.
Race Caller (off-panel): —and "Dessert Rider" edges out "Jiggly Picasso" for the win!
Race Caller (off-panel): What an upset, at 70-to-1 odds!
Hilgya's Brother: Everything?!? You bet our entire family fortune on one gelatinous cube race??
Hilgya's Eldest Brother: You don't understand! Mother appeared to me in a dream, looking just like she did right before you were born. She told me to bet it all on #8!
Clan Firehelm Member: Oh gods, we're gonna be caveless.
Hilgya (inset): All it took was a wig, a strong family resemblance, and a Dream spell, and he took the bait.
Hilgya (inset): Fixing the race was harder, but it had its own benefits.
- Panel 8
Hilgya: With my winnings, I was able to hire two very nice human lawyers, and Ivan's family was so scandalized by my clan's sudden destitution that they didn't contest the divorce.
Hilgya: Now I'm free to raise my son and spread the word of Loki without anyone telling me what to do!
- Panel 9
Elan: I'm glad everything's going great for you, Hilgya!
Hilgya: Yeah, it turned out much better than my first idea of setting their clan hall fire in the middle of the night would have.
- Panel 10
Elan: Uh, yeah. That would've been bad.
Hilgya: Right? Breathing in all that smoke would have been terrible for Kudzu's developing lungs.
Hilgya: I had to remember, I was avenging for two!
D&D Context
- Gelatinous Cubes are a type of mindless monster in D&D. They envelop their prey and digest them. The "jockeys" in this race must have some immunity to acid to survive inside them. Unlike many monsters in D&D which are lifted from mythology, the gelatinous cube was invented by D&D creator Gary Gygax, first published in the 1977 AD&D Monster Manual.
- The 2003 D&D 3.0 Arms and Equipment Guide gave rules for using gelatinous cubes as mounts, and included a magic item, the Amulet of Ooze Riding, which allowed the "rider" of a cube to sit in a force sphere inside the cube and steer it by creating vibrations inside it.
- Dream is a 5th level bard or wizard spell. It allows the caster or a messenger sent by him to appear in another person's dreams, delivering a message.
- Hilgya could not have cast the spell herself, so she must have gotten a bard or wizard to cast it for her, using her as the messenger.
Trivia
- It had been so long since the author drew Ivan in the comic, that he had forgotten his name. This strip was originally published with Hilgya referring to him as Igor in panel 8, but was quickly corrected.[1]
- This is the fourth comic title to reference the proverb "revenge is a dish best served cold". The others are: #110, "Revenge is Best Served Really Cold"; #648, "A Dish Best Served With +1d6 Cold Damage"; and #835, "A Dish Best Served Warm, After All". The proverb itself is of uncertain origin but is often attributed to the 18th century French diplomat Charles Maurice de Talleyrand-Périgord.
- The lawyers mentioned in panel 8 are most likely a reference to Mr. Jones and Phil Rodriguez.
- This is the latest appearance of Ivan, Hilgya's estranged husband. His other appearance is all the way back in #83, "Pillow Talk". His reappearance here represents the longest gap in appearances for any character in the strip, along with Hilgya's Brother, unnamed, who also appeared in #83.
- This is the only appearance of Dessert Rider and Jiggly Picasso, the winner and runner up of a gelatinous cube race.
- The names reference gelatin desserts such as Jell-O, and Picasso's art style, Cubism, respectively.