Hilgya agrees to help the Order, but on one condition: not leaving Kudzu with the priests of Thor.
Cast
- The Order of the Stick
- Hilgya Firehelm ◀ ▶
- Minrah Shaleshoe ◀ ▶
- Kudzu ◀ ▶
- Greysky City Thieves' Guild
- A Baby
- A Cleric of Loki
- Two Poker Players
Transcript
- Panel 1
Hilgya: So, you're Durkon's flavor of the month? I guess he likes blondes.
Minrah: Excuse me?
- Panel 2
Hilgya: Listen, sister, I know he seems nice, but he'll use you and toss you aside once he's had his fun.
Minrah: Ma'am, I have literally never met this man. I joined up ten minutes ago to fight bad guys.
- Panel 3
Hilgya: Oh. Well, the advice still applies. He's a pig.
Minrah: I will, uh, keep that under advisement. Thanks.
- Panel 4
Roy: OK, here's the deal: Durkon was turned into a vampire so he's evil now and trying to destroy the world. We're going to stop him.
Belkar: You want in, or nah?
- Panel 5
Hilgya: Feh. I shouldn't be surprised that a man so deeply unscrupulous would embrace such a descent into unnatural depravity.
Roy: Huh?
Belkar: Are we 100% sure that "Durkon Thundershield" isn't just, like, a super-common name?
- Panel 6
Hilgya: I'll help you, and if I get to break some skulls in the process, so much the better.
Hilgya: Loki hates the undead, you know. His scriptures teach us that lo, they are such gross, icky things.
Kudzu: Tunn unn deh! Tunn unn deh!
- Panel 7
Roy: Great. Glad to hear it. I'm sure the priests inside the temple can take care of your little one.
Minrah: Rogo has three little ones at home, he'll be happy to help out.
Roy: There you go.
- Panel 8
Hilgya: Excuse me? No. I'm not leaving little Kudzu alone with a bunch of Thor flunkies.
Roy: Well you can't exactly bring him into a battle with you against a bunch of vampires!
- Panel 9
Hilgya: How about you not tell me what to do, human? How about that?
Roy: We already lost Durkon, we can't lose his—I mean, your—son next!
Belkar: So we're just going to glide right past the fact that she named her kid, "Kudzu"? We are? OK.
- Panel 10
Hilgya: Look, I'm a powerful cleric with a ton of high-level abjuration spells. He's safest right here with me, where I can keep an eye on him.
Hilgya: If that's a problem with you, I can go find Thundershield on my own.
- Panel 11
Hilgya: Now come on. If we're going, let's go. I just fed him and I want to get this done before he gets hungry again.
Belkar: I guess the church of Loki doesn't provide much in the way of on-site childcare.
Haley: Well, they have it, but let's just say it doesn't exactly come highly recommended.
- Panel 12
Cut to Greysky City, where a cleric of Loki sits around a poker table with some members of the thieves guild. She pushes a baby into the pot.
Cleric of Loki: Call.
D&D Context
- Some additional context to the Hilgya's puzzling ability to Turn Undead is given here. Loki has a special distaste for the undead, which might justify a special rule allowing his cleric to turn undead despite his presumed Evil alignment. Alternatively, Loki could be Chaotic Neutral and this line merely serves to underscore his difficult relationship with his daughter, Hel.
- Abjuration is a school of magic in D&D which consists of spells of protection in various forms.
Trivia
- The title references the popular series of novels, The Baby-Sitters Club, published between 1986 and 2000. The pun turns on a poker hand, a flush, suited in clubs.
- This is the final appearance of Jenny, a member of the Greysky City Thieves' Guild. Jenny was the only thief who survived Belkar's rampage in the safe room in #611, "None Left Standing", and subsequently became Belkar's lover for a short time. She first appeared in #581.
- This is the final appearance of Hank, the bookkeeper of the Greysky City Thieves' Guild. He has made eleven appearances, starting in "#580".
- In panel 6 Kudzu can be heard reacting to hearing his mother talk about the undead by saying "Tunn unn deh! Tunn unn deh!" (Turn undead), implying that he has heard Hilgya using it and may well be on his way to follow in both his parents' footsteps.